10 Signs Someone Is Truly Your Soulmate, From Experts
We all want to feel seen, understood, and loved, and thus, the idea of finding a "soulmate" certainly feels enticing—but are soulmates actually real? And how do you know when you've met yours?
Whether you think you've found the one or want to know the signs to watch out for ahead of time, here's how to know if someone is your soulmate, according to spiritual experts.
What is a soulmate?
A soulmate, simply put, is defined as "a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner"—and that's literally according to the Oxford Dictionary. You can think of soulmates as people cut from the same energetic cloth as you.
As psychotherapist Babita Spinelli previously explained to mindbodygreen, "A soulmate is about a love connection but also about a connection with someone who accepts you and knows you."
"Soulmate" is often used to describe a strong connection between two people that can be romantic partners, she adds—but that's not always the case.
In fact, in spiritual communities, there are said to be many different kinds of soulmates, including the following:
- Soul partners
- Soul ties
- Past-life soulmates
- Karmic soulmates
- Romantic soulmates
- Twin flames
- Companion soulmates
- Soul family & soul groups
- Kindred spirits
- Soul contracts
- Soul teachers
- Soul crossings
Check out our full guide to the different types of soulmates for more details on what each connection means.
Are soulmates real?
The question of whether soulmates are real is contingent on whether souls are real, which is, of course, up for debate. But even if you don't believe in the idea of having a soul, there's no denying there are some people you just "click with" on a deeper level than others. And that deeper level, perhaps, is the soul level.
As psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, M.S., Ph.D., tells mindbodygreen, she not only believes that soulmates are real but, further, that you can have more than one. As she explains, soulmates are anyone you have a deep energetic connection with. You may have instantly recognized that this person seemed familiar in some way to you, and even if you don't stay in each other's lives forever (which is entirely possible), the relationship is still enriching because of the power of the connection you shared.
And again, soulmates aren't always romantic, so don't forget about your closest friends or even pets. According to Nuñez, it's not rare to have more than one soulmate, or for them to be any number of different people in your life.
In this article, we'll be discussing popular beliefs about soulmates within spiritual communities, based on our conversations with various experts in this field.
How do you know if someone is your soulmate?
You felt an instant connection.
When you meet a soulmate, Nuñez says, there will be an instant connection, quite literally like you already know them, even though you just met. "You just feel like you've known that person forever—it's having that deep connection where you simply recognize that soul," she explains.
You "recognize" each other's souls.
And speaking of recognition, that's another telltale spiritual sign of meeting your soulmate, seemingly beyond explanation. According to professional intuitive Tanya Carroll Richardson, when two souls have shared a significant past life (or lives) together, they'll be inexplicably drawn to each other in this lifetime.
In this case, she says, "What people are feeling is the built-up energy over other lifetimes together—and a soul recognition," adding that you can feel soul recognition with any type of soulmate.
Your love for each other is unconditional.
"Unconditional love" can raise some red flags when we're talking about toxic relationships and enabling or repeating negative relationship patterns, but in the case of soulmates, it's a beautiful gift two people can offer each other.
For one thing, true soulmates won't have the kind of toxicity that make unconditional love questionable. Rather, Nuñez says, it's a love for each other that exists beyond the bounds of time, distance, or circumstance. "There's a deeper level of patience and understanding, where you accept and don't try to change that partner," she says, adding that you'll accept your soulmate for who they are and what they bring to the relationship. (And, you'll be able to lovingly let them go if needed.)
Eye contact is intense.
Soulmate connections can feel quite visceral, especially in romantic instances. For one thing, Nuñez says, eye contact between soulmates will be intense and even psychic. Almost like a telepathic connection, you can exchange a knowing look with your soulmate, and they'll be on the same page. Simply looking into each other's eyes can feel like you're looking into the vastness of all of existence while simultaneously feeling the peace and safety of true connection.
You feel physically drawn to each other.
This includes eye contact, but beyond just the eyes, soulmates will often feel physically drawn to each other, almost like magnets. According to Richardson, sexual chemistry between romantic soulmates is typically "off the charts," and as Nuñez adds, you may feel other bodily sensations around them, such as warmth and love bubbling up in your gut or heart, a general sense of comfort and ease, or sharing empathic energy (aka attunement).
The connection feels empathic.
Whether you experience empathy physically or cognitively, soulmates tend to be on the same wavelength. According to Nuñez, when you have a soul connection with someone, the empathy between the two of you is much stronger than what you may experience with others. You might finish each other's sentences, know what the other person is thinking, or literally feel what they are feeling in any given moment.
You help each other grow.
The best relationships push us to grow in ways we never imagined possible before they were in our lives, and this is true of soulmates. "They're there to teach you a lesson, so if you do have a soul connection with a partner or a friend in a moment in time, what is your takeaway from that soul relationship?" Nuñez explains, adding that those who encourage you and teach you things in this life are likely there for your soul's larger purpose.
You support each other.
Our soulmates are our biggest cheerleaders, so if someone in your life is always in your corner, there's a great chance they're a soulmate of yours. Richardson refers to them as "spiritual sidekicks," adding that those who seem destined to be in your path often are exactly that—destined—"so you both, in turn, can give each other love and encouragement when needed to keep going on your earthly odyssey."
You trigger each other just enough.
If you thought soulmate relationships would be 100% easy, think again. After all, growth and transformation never came easy, and thus, our soulmates can actually be some of the biggest triggers in our lives. According to couples' therapist Shelly Bullard, MFT, "To personally evolve means to grow through the things that challenge us the most. Our souls long to do this, [and] our soulmates are the people that give us the opportunity to do so by triggering our issues so we can become conscious of them and create a different reality."
What makes it a soulmate connection, in this case, she says, is the fact that we're able to move beyond the issues that get triggered in the relationship by choosing love instead.
They showed up in a synchronistic way.
Last but not least, trust in divine timing. According to Bullard, Nuñez, and Richardson, we tend to attract soulmates when we need them most—aka when there's a lesson to be learned. "When it comes to attraction, [the soul] knows a thing or two. It will match you up with the very people you are supposed to be with, and it does this through attraction," Bullard explains.
How do you know that you found your soulmate?
A few telltale signs you've found a soulmate include a feeling of instant recognition and knowing each other, being inexplicably drawn to each other, and accepting who the other person is in totality.
What happens when soulmates meet?
When soulmates meet, there will be an instant recognition of connection and knowing each other, and both people will want to forge a relationship, whether romantic or not.
What age do you meet your soulmate?
You can meet a soulmate at any age, and it will not always be romantic. Soulmates can be lovers, yes, but also friends, family, teachers, and even pets.
Do soulmates end up together?
Soulmates will come together and stay together for the duration it takes for the relationship to serve its purpose. Sometimes this means they'll be together forever, sometimes not.
While the jury may still be out on what the soul actually is, our soulmates are all around us, in our friends, family, and lovers. They may be for today, or they may be for forever—but one thing is for sure: Soulmate connections are some of the most fulfilling and growth-oriented relationships we will have in this lifetime.
Sarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Editor, a registered yoga instructor, and an avid astrologer and tarot reader. She received her bachelor's in broadcasting and mass communication from State University of New York at Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.