Here's what true love is all about, plus 10 signs you're in it.

Notably, both experts say the idea of one soul mate seems to be a wash: "I think you can make a choice to spend your life with another person," Carroll tells mbg, but "I think there's more than one right person—I think there are many kinds of soul mates."

It's important to recognize the difference between lust and love. While lust is one stage on the way to love, you're going to need more than physical attraction to make it last. In time, the deeper you get to know them and the more you bond, the more you'll grow to care for who they really are—and the more they'll care for who you really are, too.

If anything, risk is what makes it exciting. Love pushes you to open yourself up completely to another person, to really be seen and understood. And in spite of the possibility of heartbreak, we do it anyway. Love is a huge risk, but it seems to be the one we're all willing to take.

Eventually, as the honeymoon phase dissipates and you and your partner really begin to see who the other is, there's a sense of calm familiarity. You feel grounded and content in their presence. This is partly due to the hormones released during the attachment phase that facilitate bonding, oxytocin and vasopressin1.

Love doesn't always have "good reasons," which is where the idea of unconditional love comes from. As holistic psychiatrist Ellen Vora, Ph.D., describes to mbg, it almost feels as though "there's a divine force telling me I'm on the right path. It doesn't always feel easy or even necessarily positive, but it always feels like I'm right where I need to be."

Both people are free to be their whole selves. Couples experience "true individuation and self-discovery" when they're truly in love, explains Carroll. In this way, you don't feel incomplete without them but rather that you're two whole people who work well as a team.

Before getting to the wholehearted stage, couples have to go through disillusionment (the end of the honeymoon phase when faults start showing up) and ultimately, a decision about whether to stay together. There's really no way around it. "Loving is realizing all the ways you're not perfect together and making it work anyway," Carroll says.

Once you've accepted those things about your partner that aren't exactly your favorite—congratulations!—you've actively decided your love for them is more important. Long-term love is very much a choice. Carroll notes, "I think there's more than one right person—I think you can make a choice to spend your life with someone."

Despite the risk and any other difficulties, there's a deep knowing that you want this person in your life, and trust they'll be around for the long haul. And building this trust is no easy feat, according to Carroll, who notes it's a process that takes time.

Carroll explains that developing true love takes going through rough seasons and finding out all the ways you're not compatible. But the more your relationship is put to the test, the stronger you become as a pair. Of course, every relationship still takes effort, but once you reach wholehearted love, you've really sharpened your communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Going back to the idea of being a complete individual with and without a partner, there's the part of you that knows you would be OK without your great love. But with that said, you know this isn't what you want because you simply, genuinely love having this person in your life.

There's really no script dictating when the right time is, Wegner adds. "All is fair in love and war," she notes—but she does offer one word of warning: "If you find yourself frequently lusting after, attaching, or being attracted to everyone, and it is not reciprocated or feels different from what most others experience, it's worth becoming curious why. Is it true love, or are you repeating an old relational habit?"

Take some time to really think things through. Once you're sure it's love (and usually, your gut will give you a pretty good idea), let your S.O. know—and enjoy it! After all, that's kind of the point, isn't it?