18 Signs Of Anger Issues & How To Overcome Them, From Mental Health Experts

Below, we asked mental health experts to help demystify anger from the medical perspective and explain the signs, symptoms, causes, and coping mechanisms needed to tackle this emotion.

While anger by itself is not a psychological disorder, it can be a symptom of various mental health conditions1 such as depression, dementia, ADHD, intermittent disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder.

This is the most noticeable form of anger. It can manifest itself in verbal or physical expressions, like shouting, hitting, breaking things, or attacking others.

This type of anger is internalized. Instead of directing the anger outward, it is directed inward and can manifest itself in feelings of self-hatred, shame, or low self-worth. It can lead to depression, withdrawal, and self-harm. 

Passive anger is a way of not expressing anger directly but instead exhibiting it indirectly through behaviors like sulking, procrastinating, being uncommunicative, ignoring people, or refusing to respond to requests or participate in activities. All these behaviors could be problematic because they do not align with clear verbal cues. So, a person may be outwardly polite and agreeable but unreliable or noncommittal when it matters. This is the most difficult form of anger to recognize because it can be so asynchronous.

Luo categorizes common signs into four categories: feelings, thoughts, physical reactions, and actions. Below are some examples of signs in each category:

Feeling angry on occasion is normal, but it should not be a constant. If you feel like you're very frequently finding yourself angry in your day-to-day life, that could be a sign of anger issues. Luo also notes that anger can come in many forms, such as feeling:

If your moods can swing so sharply that they are frightening—even for you—then this is a sign that anger is getting the best of you. Unpredictable moods and reactions can damage social bonds and diminish trust.

Anger is usually based on feelings of disrespect or dissatisfaction. When those feelings are not properly focused on the confluence of issues that might arise in a situation and are, instead, placed on a single person, the emotional damage can be devastating. Whether you blame yourself or others, anger can create a vicious cycle of disappointment and unmet needs.

If you have trouble letting arguments go, then you're likely holding on to negative emotions beyond their shelf life. For example, being upset with a stranger who steps on the back of your favorite shoes is a normal and natural reaction in the moment. But if you find yourself welling up with anger days and weeks later, or going into a fit of rage every time you see those shoes, then you're holding an unresolved grudge. Holding grudges can cause stress in the body and deplete emotional resilience overall. 

As Gonzalez-Berrios points out, anger can manifest as physical symptoms, such as chronic shoulder or back pain or teeth grinding that wears at the enamel. Other examples include heart racing, shortness of breath, shaking, sweating, hot flashes, increased blood pressure, or muscle tension, according to Luo. 

Raising your voice or becoming violent are clear signs that you're angry. In these bouts of unfiltered emotion, there's a lack of self-control. A pattern of these symptoms is a strong sign of anger issues, and when this aggression is directed at another person, it can be considered abuse or harassment.

Impulsive and unexplained responses, like hitting, kicking, breaking things, yelling, screaming, and cursing, are all signs of anger issues—and they can cause irreparable harm, even if it's unintentional. Emotional, physical, sexual, and verbal abuse is tied to anger in the aggressor. 

Passive aggression is a way of communicating anger and frustration indirectly, and constant passive-aggressive behavior may be a sign of anger issues. Passive-aggressive reactions can also include acting like nothing ever happened and masking grudges for a very long time. While the aggrieved person might be trying to suppress their anger or convince themselves that they have no right to be mad, they still may subtly communicate frustrations by becoming evasive, avoidant, or unreliable. 

There are many different causes and triggers that can lead to anger issues, and they will not be the same for everyone. Generally, someone usually feels angry when they are: 

These immediate situations are usually triggers for underlying issues, like:

If you were hurt, bullied, or abused in the past, situations that make you relive those moments can trigger an anger response. In such moments, it may be hard to discern why anger boils over. A disproportionate reaction to a seemingly benign or minimally problematic event can then be an indication that past traumas have not yet been resolved. In this case, minimizing angry outbursts might mean working on healing those deeper wounds.

"Anger is often a way we express our distress related to other painful emotions, like being hurt or scared," explains Kamran Eshtehardi, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focused on families. The anger iceberg theory treats anger in that way, as just the tip of a much deeper iceberg of emotional distress. Masked below the calm watery surface are other buried feelings of sadness, fear, anxiety, jealousy, or grief. Anger is the only part that is visible, so that is what gets attention, but addressing the underlying concerns and feelings will be key to healing the anger issues.

"Children also imitate their parents' behaviors," Gonzalez-Berrios adds, and so learn to respond in similar ways. In cases of prolonged exposure to violent or abusive tendencies, some children will normalize and mimic these troublesome examples.

Life is hard! Prolonged stress can make anyone more irritable than normal. Whether it is the grief of losing a loved one, the constant fear of the coronavirus, or outrage at global injustice, anger is a logical reaction to months and years of exposure to trauma triggers. Big and small worries can pile up to make us feel weak and powerless. Anger can be totally justified, though if people don't know how to respond and deal with that anger in healthy ways, it can become self-harming. 

The same is true when trying to identify if a person you love is angry. If they are screaming, well, then you know. But if they are passive-aggressive, then they may become more distant or unavailable. In such cases, a calm and non-accusatory approach to expressing concern and the hope for repair is more effective than direct confrontation in the moment.

Whether you are dealing with your anger issues or someone else's, you must draw a hard line at abuse—whether verbal, physical, or emotional. If you find that anger is causing domestic or family violence, seek help immediately. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 (or your local support group) for free support from a trained advocate, who can help you plan the next steps. 

If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. For anonymous and confidential help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) and speak with a trained advocate for free as many times as you need. They're available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also speak to them through a live private chat on their website.