When you see, hear, value, and appreciate yourself, you no longer fear rejection. While none of us likes rejection, we stop fearing it when we love ourselves. We no longer take it personally. We no longer believe that someone else's rejection or acceptance is the most accurate indicator of our value.
When rejection stops being the ultimate fear, you cease to be vulnerable to self-denying insecurity and engulfment.
When you love yourself, you learn to fill your heart with love to share with your partner. Only when you truly value your own essence—who you really are—can you see and value the essence of your partner.
Even if just one of you embarks on the journey of self-love, it may be enough to heal the relationship. If one person moves out of controlling protective behavior and into loving themselves and their partner, it may turn a dysfunctional relationship system into a loving, productive one.
Rather than considering separation or divorce when you fall out of love, why not first try learning to love yourself? It's the only way to experience true, lasting love with a partner. The sooner you start, the better.