Was your father absent in your life? Was he physically present but emotionally unavailable? Was your father abusive toward you (physically, emotionally or sexually)?
If you said yes to any of the above, you're certainly not alone. This article identifies characteristics of women with "daddy issues" and offers an alternative way of thinking to create healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships.
Can you see yourself in any of the following descriptions?
1. You're only attracted to older men.
They're often financially stable, and they appear confident and know exactly what to do. When you have daddy issues, your subconscious may crave a father figure to protect and adore you. You may yearn for an older man to provide the affection you missed in childhood. The problem is that, as with a father/daughter relationship, this pairing may bring an imbalance of power.
2. You are clingy, jealous, and overprotective.
You constantly worry that your parter might leave you. You get jealous and find yourself checking his cell phone, just to make sure he’s not cheating. If this describes you, you may be suffering with attachment issues, stemming from the relationship (or lack thereof) with your father. This can cause co-dependent behavior and if not dealt with, may eventually suffocate your romantic relationships, leaving you a product of your own fears — abandonment!
3. You need constant reassurance of love and affection.
You continually compare yourself to his past girlfriends and everyone else on the planet. If you have daddy issues, you may feel insecure with your partner and constantly need assurance that he loves you. This can get exhausting, and eventually the neediness may push him away, which will confirm your greatest fear — you are unlovable and unwanted.
4. You give the impression that you only care about sex.
You crave sex. Lots of it. You feel loved when having sex with a man. You sometimes engage in risky behaviors to satisfy your needs. Your self esteem tends to be based on whether or not a man wants you sexually. Being attractive to men through sex tends to trick the subconscious into believing you are loved and adored. Unfortunately, this is a false sense of security and can be very damaging. Sex on its own is not love. By behaving this way, you're missing out on true intimacy based on mutual respect and companionship.
5. You're terrified of being alone.
You would rather be in a dysfunctional relationship than be single. You bounce from relationship to relationship, and experience all the issues that go with rebound dating and rushing into relationships without giving them time to see if there's compatibility. If you have daddy issues, the fear of being alone may reduce your ability to develop your own unique identity and move forward into a healthy fulfilling relationship with a healthy self-esteem.
What to do about it
Break down your issues into bite-sized chunks and adopt the affirmations that resonate most with you. The chart below can help you do that.
If this has been an ongoing issue for you, I encourage you to seek the help of a qualified counsellor or therapist.
You can’t change your past, but you can change the way you view yourself, your future, and the men you attract into your life.
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