6 Basic Types Of Romantic Relationships & How To Define Yours

A relationship is any kind of association or connection between people, whether intimate, platonic, positive, or negative. Typically when people talk about "being in a relationship," the term is referencing a specific type of romantic relationship involving both emotional and physical intimacy, some level of ongoing commitment, and monogamy (i.e., romantic and sexual exclusivity, wherein members don't have this type of relationship with anyone else). That said, romantic relationships can take many different forms, from marriage to casual dating to ethical nonmonogamy.

Dating is the process of intentionally spending time with someone to get to know them better, have fun together, and enjoy being romantic. Dating can sometimes be about seeing if there's potential for a more long-term relationship, or it can just be about having fun without expectations for the future, which is sometimes called casual dating.

In the context of couples, the phrase "in a relationship" usually means being in a committed, long-term romantic relationship. A committed relationship is one where two or more people agree to continue being in a relationship for the foreseeable future. There's an understanding that the two will continue to spend time together, work on growing their relationship with each other, and continue nurturing their connection. People in committed relationships may choose to use identifiers like boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner to signify their relationship to others.

In traditional monogamous relationships, being in a relationship also means that a couple will be romantically and sexually exclusive—that is, they won't have any other romantic or sexual partners other than each other. In nonmonogamous relationships, exclusivity isn't required.

A casual relationship is a relationship where two or more people may be dating, regularly spending time together, and engaging in romantic or sexual activities—but without any expectations for the relationship to last into the future. These types of relationships are usually more situational and short-term, and they may or may not be exclusive.

A situationship is a romantic relationship that hasn't been explicitly defined, usually by omission. The relationship may have many of the same qualities as a committed relationship, a casual relationship, or dating, but the people involved have simply not put labels on it—usually intentionally, whether that's to avoid making things too complicated, because they're still figuring out what they want from each other, or because they're too afraid to bring up the "DTR talk" (aka a conversation defining the relationship).

Generally speaking, situationships usually have more emotional involvement than a friends-with-benefits scenario but not the explicit romantic feelings and commitment of a committed relationship.

When it comes to dating, romantic relationships, and sex, it's important for partners to be transparent about what type of relationship they want and to make sure they're on the same page. 

While these questions can feel intimidating or too serious, choosing to avoid these questions means you're just choosing to make assumptions rather than hearing the truth.

"People form commitments [and] expectations even without labels," sex and relationship therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT, once told mbg. "Not talking about the terms of your relationship does not mean you don't have one."

And remember: Defining the relationship does not necessarily mean you need to enter into a serious or committed relationship. Defining the relationship is simply about clarity. 

"Some people may choose not to label their relationship because they're afraid of being tied down too quickly or in a place where they feel trapped," relationship therapist Shena Tubbs, MMFT, LPC, CSAT-C, once told mbg. "However, one should understand that you maintain full autonomy of yourself in every relationship you're in, and you are the one who is responsible for communicating what you need, what you want, and what you don't want. So if you feel you're at a place where you cannot (or don't want) to date one person exclusively, that should be communicated to your partner so that [they] can make a decision about whether that works for them."