Why Twin Flames Separate & What To Do If It Happens, From Experts

Often referred to as a "mirror soul," a twin flame relationship occurs when one soul is split between two bodies. Those two people share a very intense soul connection, mirroring each other and acting as catalysts for growth in each other's lives.

As licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli previously explained to mbg, the mirroring nature of twin flames forces the two to identify all of their insecurities and fears, but it also helps shed light on the areas in which they can grow. When both people are ready for this kind of deep vulnerability and intimacy, these relationships can be incredibly profound and enriching.

A twin flame separation is a stage in the relationship many twin flames will experience. It's exactly what it sounds like: a period of separation from each other. It typically happens as the honeymoon phase ends and insecurities and attachment issues begin to appear.

"Your love will be put to a test as you start to dive deep into your shadow sides," spiritual author Shannon Kaiser previously noted. And when this happens, according to Spinelli, one partner may avoid the other or even abandon the relationship. "Twin flame relationships have a ton of push-pull," Kaiser adds. "Part of the chase is the reward for each person. But there will be a time when one partner will pull away, and this causes separation."

For many twin flames, one (or both, but typically one) person isn't ready for the relationship yet. This person is called "the runner," and the other "the chaser."

Sometimes, the separation is necessary for one or both people to grow and learn so they can come back together in a healthier way. When it's not the right time, this is often because the twin flames may have met too soon, before they were ready.

One common theme among twin flame relationships leading up to the separation phase is a lack of self-love that manifests in the relationship, whether as codependency, jealousy, or something else This is where much of the growth will lie for many twin flames.

Self-love can be an issue in twin flame relationships because of the nature of the concept, which can be misconstrued to mean that there's a "perfect match" out there for you whom you need to find in order to be whole.

While the separation may not be permanent, it is virtually always a time to focus on and prioritize your own growth and self-love. Nuñez says it's important for each person to focus on finding themselves and their own happiness—"because oftentimes our happiness is contingent upon being in a relationship or somebody else," she notes, when it shouldn't be.

When that work is done, she adds, that's when twin flames can often rekindle because they're ready to approach the relationship in a new and stronger way. But this growth can't be fast-tracked, she adds, and that's when you really have to trust what's meant for you will be.

"Know the universe isn't going to steer you wrong, and if you're truly meant to be, you'll go off and find your way back together again," she says.

Focus on learning to be OK being by yourself, she suggests. Take yourself out on dates, learn to sit with your emotions, practice shadow work, and don't try to replace what you've lost by rushing into another relationship. Nuñez says this time is about finding your happiness.

There's not really a simple answer to this question. Of course, separating from your twin flame can be devastating and painful—but if it's reached that point, it probably needed to happen. As Bowman says, in instances when one person is never truly ready, the twin flames may not join together in this lifetime. "A twin flame can also just come into our lives to remind us of who we are, and they're not meant to stay. Sometimes that's the lesson," she adds.

If twin flames reconnect and both decide to try again, that's a beautiful thing and can result in a deeply intimate relationship. To keep things going on the right track, Nuñez says you'll want to keep your eye out for repeating patterns or behaviors from the first time around.

Some twin flames have multiple separation periods as well, so it's not impossible that the same issues can become a major problem again. But that's not to say you won't eventually be able to overcome them.