21 Ways To Prepare For Fatherhood, From Parenting Experts

Here are a few ways to start preparing for fatherhood, according to parenting experts and fathers themselves:

Here are a few to consider:

Of course, there's no need to limit yourself to books. There are also podcasts, Facebook groups, blogs, websites, and YouTube channels chock-full of information. Pick the ones that don't make you feel overwhelmed or guilty. You can also attend prenatal and antenatal classes or work with a parenting coach to get more hands-on education.

Try to go to all doctor's appointments, especially the visit when you get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Ask questions about your baby's development and the pregnancy stages. Discuss delivery options and birth plans, help pack the hospital bag, and learn how to hold a newborn. Enjoy the process—use it to bond with your partner and your soon-to-be-born child.

If your childhood was traumatic or complicated, or if the thought of parenting just makes you anxious, know that you are not alone in having an emotional reaction to the prospect of parenting. Before the baby comes is a great time to recognize and work through these feelings. It can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you unpack your experiences (past and present) and learn healthy ways to manage the stress and difficulties that inevitably come with parenthood.

It can help to research the various parenting styles that exist and decide what resonates most with you.

Get your finances in order, set bill payments to automatic, pay any outstanding bills, and get ahead a few months if you can. How? This might mean consolidating debt, applying for loan forgiveness programs, or proactively inquiring about employee benefits that could be particularly useful. Do everything you can to make your financial situation less stressful, as parenthood brings with it a slew of new expenses.

Together with your partner, think about the cost of parenting and create a family budget. Over-assume the price of everything from child care to lactation consultants to a safety-compliant crib. While all these things fall in a price range, your budget should accommodate items at the high end so that splurging on specialized support when you need to won't break the bank. Whatever remains in excess can go toward saving for inevitable future costs like dental care, college or trade school, family vacations, and more.

Pro tip: Make and freeze as much food as possible so that, in the exhausting days after the birth, no one will have to worry about cooking. If you're into making your own food, gather recipe books like The First Forty Days so you can prepare highly nutritious meals for your family (especially for the nursing parent). When family and friends ask how they can help, ask for a home-cooked meal or two. Collect the healthiest delivery choices and keep them somewhere safe for easy access. Even better, program them into your phone for speed dial.

A car seat may be your most important after-birth item, as you will not be allowed to leave the hospital without a suitable infant car seat installed. Don't wait until you need to use it to figure out how it works and how the bucket seat snaps into the base. Some are secured by hooks between the seats, and others use your normal seat belt. Either way, installing a car seat is always harder than it seems. Read all the instructions beforehand and put it in the car with ample time to spare.

Choosing nursery furniture can feel overwhelming because it is all so adorable. Pick something, even if you think you will change it later. If you intend to paint the walls, don't leave it to the last minute. The room should be free of paint fumes before baby arrives. Build or buy all the necessary furniture, such as the crib, changing table, or dresser. When you are blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived, you do not want to handle screws or a hammer. Although you will have a few months after birth to baby-proof the house, anything that can be done before the baby's arrival is always worthwhile to tackle early.

Similarly, wrap up any pending projects—including major ones at work. Try to finish them or transition them to others who can carry them forward without you. Parental guilt is real. It is the feeling that you should be with your kids whenever you're off doing something else that is seemingly important, like going to work, nursing pet projects with friends, or developing personal hobbies that predate the baby. To avert guilt, try to find closure on the projects that are optional, or give everyone advanced notice that you'll be taking a break. Lowering expectations will also lower stress levels when your partner and baby need time and attention that used to be allocated elsewhere.

"Many new parents struggle with exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and burnout," Wolf adds—so having practices in place to proactively care for your mental health will help a lot when the rubber hits the road.

"When it comes to raising children, we've all heard that 'it takes a village,'" Wolf reminds. Chances are, there are family members and friends who are your village; you've just never had to call on them so regularly before. Think of people who can help care for the baby, especially people who have had kids recently, family who can be available for last-minute babysitting, and anyone who you can call about health issues. For the latter, you'll have a pediatrician who can answer many pressing questions, but sometimes you just need someone to remind you to use diaper rash cream.

Other dads are a wonderful source of support, guidance, and information. Tap into your "dad" resources, whether it's your own old man, neighborhood dads, or family and friends. Use them to calm your nerves and get reassurance that everything will be OK in the end. Soak in their knowledge, learn from their mistakes, and get a sense of different parenting approaches and techniques. Take what you want, and leave the rest.

It's important to find ways to continue nurturing your romantic relationship—for yourselves and for your child. "Putting your relationship first and staying close to each other models a healthy, intimate partnership," licensed couples' counselor and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman writes at mbg. "It creates a stable bond that can be the foundation of the household. The kids find security in knowing that their parents are happy and connected." (Here's her full guide to navigating sex as parents, too.)

If you and your partner don't live together or aren't romantically involved, you'll still want to set up sturdy co-parenting ground rules. 

Remember, you and your co-parent are a team. You're not in competition, so there's no need to compare. Find ways to complement each other, and don't defer or delay your parenting opportunities because you think your partner does it better or has natural instincts that you don't.

Remember that if you neglect key relationships now, they may be harder to kick-start later. You may need to redefine what hanging out means so that seeing friends and family after the baby comes still feels good for the soul. Reset expectations with your friends while still showing that you care about them, and spend quality time together in ways that don't drain you. Bar hopping and Sunday brunches might be off the table for now, but watching the game or going for a hike might be exactly what the doctor ordered.

Even before the baby comes, lead this conversation with your partner: How do you want to schedule visits with immediate family and friends? Do you prefer to introduce them to your newborn on Zoom or WhatsApp video chat instead of in person? Consider all your options and set ground rules before the baby comes. Your partner and those who love you will appreciate this early expectation-setting.

Here's where expecting dads can really help. Shadravan says they can "establish family rituals and celebrate every little win." Whether it is a standing barbecue or a commitment to honor an ancestor on the same day every year, dads can initiate these conversations and hold everyone to them.

Kidding aside, take the time to talk to your future child even while they're growing in the belly. Research shows that a fetus can start to hear1 around 16 to 18 weeks in utero, and by 27 to 30 weeks, they can respond to voices. Curl up next to the baby bump and read stories, sing, or just introduce yourself. Shortly after the baby is born, you won't be able to get a word in edgewise. Take advantage of the time now.

"Who gets everything right in their first 90 days at a new job? Now imagine that job being in a career you have no experience or schooling in," he says. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Learn as you go, be humble, admit your mistakes, and fail forward."