22 Subtle Signs A Guy Likes You, From Dating Experts
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
Does he like me?
If you’re wondering because you have a crush on the guy in question, the best way to know is to simply ask him directly. But if you want to first confirm that there are at least a few signs he likes you back, here are a few ways to tell if a guy likes you.
But real quick, in case you're wondering if the signs of attraction are different when it comes to guys: "There are general behaviors that all genders engage in naturally when they are interested in someone else," says sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, M.S. "We're definitely more alike when it comes to showing romantic interest."
With that out of the way, let's get into this.
1. He leans toward you during conversation.
People tend to naturally lean toward people they like in conversation, according to Battle. If the guy you like tends to lean his face in closer to yours while he's talking to you or listening to you talk, that's a good sign that he might be into you.
2. He angles his body toward you in the room.
According to sex and relationship therapist Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST, a person has more open body language toward someone they like: "They're not closed off, their arms aren't crossed, and they can sit back and relax," she recently told mbg. In particular, pay attention to the direction he angles his body. If his body—including shoulders and pelvis—are angled toward you and facing you, that's a good sign. But if he generally points his body away from yours, that's a sign that he might not be into you.
3. He finds small ways to compliment you.
Battle says people tend to find small ways to compliment someone they're interested in. So if a guy keeps genuinely complimenting everything from your eyes to your creative endeavors, that could be a sign they're really into you.
4. He makes eye contact.
Eye contact can be a sign of attraction, though be careful with this one: Some people are good about making eye contact with anyone and everyone they talk to because they care about making the people around them feel seen. But if your crush tends to look you directly in the eye and hold your gaze, that could be a sign there's something more there.
5. He steals a glance at you.
Even if he makes eye contact with everyone he talks to, it's another story if you keep catching him looking at you even when you're on the other side of the room. Stolen glances are a classic sign that someone is a little captivated by you.
6. He singles you out in a group.
When you're in a group situation, he still finds a way to make small moments with you, whether by asking you direct questions or just always responding to the things you say. He's always laughing at your jokes, looks at you even when he's laughing at someone else's joke, or makes little side conversations with you whenever he can.
7. He seems drawn to you in the room.
In general, he just seems to be energetically drawn to you in the room—as if his focus, body language, and general energy all just seem to be kind of focused on you. Even when he's off talking to someone else, there still seems to be the vibe that he's paying attention to you.
8. He wants to spend time with you one-on-one.
If this guy is a friend of yours, someone in your office or class, or someone you just run into at parties sometimes, and he keeps trying to find ways to get one-on-one time together, that's a sign that he's trying to connect with you more on a personal level. Though that could just be a friendship budding, it could also mean that he likes you romantically.
9. He finds small ways to touch you.
He's always finding little moments to share physical contact with you, whether by putting his hand on the small of your back when he passes by you, bumping your shoulder with his while he laughs, or playing with your hair.
10. He actively plans dates.
If you meet a guy on a dating app, it can be hard to tell if a guy has strong feelings for you or if he's just going through the motions. The key tell is if he's actively initiating dates and making plans, according to Battle. That's usually a sign that he genuinely likes you and wants to keep connecting, and there may actually be something there.
11. He follows up after the date.
Likewise, if this is someone you just went on a date with, Battle says you can tell someone is actually interested in you if they follow up after the date. They might send you a text the next day saying they had a lot of fun, or they might send you a meme or article related to something you talked about, or they might reach out asking to make plans again.
12. He's consistent with communication.
Are they texting you regularly and always keeping in touch? "Communication consistency is a great indicator of interest," Battle says. "Someone who is truly interested in you will not disappear for long stretches of time only to reappear with no explanation."
13. He responds to your texts quickly.
Some people just don't check their phones that often, are slow texters, or are just super busy, so just because someone doesn't text you back right away doesn't mean they're not into you. But if a guy always responds to your texts pretty quickly, Battle says they may be trying to indicate that they're interested in you.
14. He initiates conversation on social media.
Liking your posts and leaving comments doesn't always mean a guy is into you, but Battle says to notice if he's consistently initiating actual conversations with you on social media. "They will not only like your posts and comment on them but also share things with you and maintain regular communication in DMs," she says. If he's constantly responding to your IG stories or Snapchats, asking you questions, and generally keeping the conversations with you going, those are all signs someone is really trying to nurture a connection with you.
15. He keeps the conversation going.
In general, whether over text or in person, notice if he is trying to keep conversations going with you. That means he'll always ask a follow-up question or offer detailed responses to your questions, and he never responds with just one-word answers or "lol" by itself.
16. He blushes around you.
Do you notice his face or skin gets red when he's around you? That happens when we're excited or getting a hit of adrenaline, clinical psychologist Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D., recently told mbg, and it's a common sign of attraction. "Blushing is an honest response," she says. "You feel 'caught' being sexually excited about another person."
17. He seems a little nervous.
If a guy is usually pretty laid back or boisterous with his friends, but with you he gets a little nervous and trips over his words a little, that could be a sign that he likes you and is getting a little caught up trying to impress you.
18. He laughs a lot around you.
Is he always giving you big, hearty laughs—the kind that make his face get all scrunched up? Or he smiles a lot around you—that warm, intimate type of smile that reaches his eyes? Laughter and smiling are ways of establishing connection, rapport, and intimacy with others.
19. He removes distractions.
When you're around, he's never stealing glances at his phone or the TV. He gives you his full, undivided attention, and he may even go out of his way to remove barriers or distractions that might get in the way of his time with you.
20. He takes the lead.
While there are universal ways that people of all genders show romantic interest, Battle notes that there are some common cultural scripts that men—particularly men who date women—might use to show they're attracted to someone. "These scripts, rooted in patriarchy, are based on gender stereotypes of men being more active and women being more passive and assume that men will take the lead," she explains. So, some men might be particularly proactive about showing they like a girl.
21. He takes your lead.
Of course, not all men are going to follow the stereotypes that say they have to be the one to make the first move. "A lot of my clients, regardless of gender, want to feel like an equal when it comes to courtship and are just as likely to show their interest first as they are to take someone else's lead," Battle explains. So even if he isn't the one making a move, you'll know a guy likes you if he responds positively when you make a move.
22. He tells you directly.
Here's the thing about trying to know if a guy likes you: Sometimes looking for small signs is never going to give you an accurate full picture of what's going on. Some guys will do all of the above with their friends, while other guys will like someone but not do any of the above.
"Some folks may be less able to express their attractions as overtly as this," Battle says. "For instance, my shy clients sometimes struggle with externalizing their feelings for a crush even in subtle ways. That means that even though they like someone, it might be harder for the other person to tell. When in doubt, talk about it!"
If you're not sure if a guy likes you but is hiding it, just ask him and let him tell you directly how he feels. It sounds scary, but it definitely doesn't have to be! A simple "Hey, I think you're really cool, and I'm kind of into you—are you into me?" is casual, direct, a little sexy, and also nonthreatening. If it's a no, at least you know! And if it's a yes, now the fun stuff begins.
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