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114 Conversation Starters For Couples, From Deep To Sexy

Kelly Gonsalves
Updated on August 22, 2022
Kelly Gonsalves
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
By Kelly Gonsalves
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
August 22, 2022

Whether it's been a few weeks or a few years, every couple can use some new fodder for date-night table talk.

Below are a bunch of questions to ask your partner, from deep conversation starters to sexy questions to turn each other on.

Deep conversation starters for couples:

  1. What's your relationship with your parents like?
  2. Do you want to be more like or less like your parents?
  3. Have you ever been in love before?
  4. Tell me the story of your first love.
  5. If you could make money doing anything in the world, what would you do?
  6. What are five things you couldn't live without?
  7. What's one article of clothing you could never part with?
  8. Who's someone in your life that you really look up to?
  9. What's one of your most cherished memories?
  10. Have you ever hurt someone and deeply regretted it? Did you ever make amends?
  11. What's the meaning of life?
  12. What's your purpose in life?
  13. Do you believe in an afterlife?
  14. Do you like your life right now? If not, what's keeping you from changing it?
  15. What people have made you who you are today?
  16. What experiences have made you who you are today? 
  17. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  18. Have you ever felt very strongly about something and then eventually changed your mind about it?
  19. What do you think is your best quality?
  20. What do you think is my best quality?
  21. What quality do you want to nurture more of in yourself?
  22. Do you have a good relationship with your body?
  23. Do you find it easier to give or to receive?
  24. What's one dish or meal that reminds you of home?
  25. Have you ever broken up with a friend?
  26. What makes you anxious?
  27. What does happiness mean to you?
  28. If you no longer had to work to live comfortably, what would you be doing with your life?
  29. What's one thing in your life that you're struggling with right now?
  30. What's one thing in your life that you're grateful for?

Romantic conversation starters for couples:

  1. What initially made you interested in me?
  2. How did you know you were in love with me?
  3. Is there anything about our relationship that feels totally unique to us?
  4. Where do you see our relationship going?
  5. What does marriage mean to you?
  6. How do you feel about big proposals?
  7. How do you think our relationship will change if we get married?
  8. What does it mean to be a good partner?
  9. What's your love language?
  10. What's the most romantic movie you've ever seen?
  11. What's a song that reminds you of our relationship?
  12. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  13. Do you believe in soul mates? (What about twin flames?)
  14. When we're apart, what do you miss most about me?
  15. What's your most precious memory of me?
  16. What do you love most about our daily life together?
  17. What kinds of things will we be doing 10 years from now? Twenty years from now? In retirement?
  18. What would we do in retirement together?

Sexy questions to ask your partner:

  1. What's your favorite part of my body?
  2. What part of my body do you want to explore more?
  3. What part of your body do you want me to explore more?
  4. What's the hottest memory you have of us?
  5. If you could relive one of our sexual experiences, which would you choose?
  6. Which is better: morning sex or sex at night?
  7. What does it mean to be good in bed?
  8. Fast and hard, or slow and gentle?
  9. Hottest sex position?
  10. Sex position that's most likely to make you orgasm?
  11. Where is the wildest place you've ever had sex?
  12. What would be a really hot place for us to have sex?
  13. How would you feel about people watching us have sex?
  14. What's your go-to masturbation routine?
  15. What kind of porn turns you on?
  16. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?
  17. What's a very ordinary thing that just really turns you on?
  18. How do you feel about being tied up (or tying me up)?
  19. Do you like to be spanked? (Or the idea of spanking me?)
  20. What would you like to see me dressed in on a special sexual occasion?

Funny conversation starters:

  1. What reality TV show would you be on?
  2. What's the worst or weirdest date you've ever been on?
  3. What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you while having sex with someone?
  4. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
  5. Who is your celebrity crush?
  6. Who was your celebrity crush as a teenager?
  7. What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?
  8. What would be the title of your autobiography?
  9. What is your soul age?
  10. Have you ever dated someone who was a bad kisser?
  11. Do you have any "moves" when it comes to flirting or dates?
  12. What was your first email address?
  13. Do you believe in ghosts?
  14. Have you ever had any unexplainable or supernatural experiences?
  15. If you were a social media influencer, what would you be known for?
  16. When and how did you first discover masturbation?
  17. What's something you were weirdly into for a very long period of time?
  18. Would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Questions to get to know your partner better:

  1. Do you want to have kids? Why or why not?
  2. What kind of parent do you want to be?
  3. How do you feel about religion?
  4. What was it like to grow out of your religion?
  5. What's your best habit?
  6. Worst habit?
  7. What does a perfect marriage look like to you?
  8. What would you like your life to be like five years from now? Ten years from now?
  9. What do you want to do when you're retired?
  10. Tell me about your best friend. What are they like, and why are you best friends?
  11. How important is sex to you?
  12. What do you need when you're angry? Stressed? Sad?
  13. Could you date some who doesn't share your political views?
  14. What do you hate?
  15. What's your deepest insecurity?
  16. Are you a jealous person?
  17. Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?
  18. What types of activities did you enjoy as a kid? Do you still do them now?
  19. What would you consider a perfect day?
  20. Tell me your life story.
  21. Do you believe in unconditional love?
  22. What are your dating deal-breakers?
  23. What's the No. 1 thing you look for in a partner?
  24. Why do you think your past relationships haven't worked out?
  25. What kind of gifts do you like?
  26. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
  27. What do you know about your family's history?
  28. What's something that you wish people would ask you about more often?
Kelly Gonsalves author page.
Kelly Gonsalves
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor

Kelly Gonsalves is a multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach helping people figure out how to create dating and sex lives that actually feel good — more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. In addition to working with individuals in her private practice, Kelly serves as the Sex & Relationships Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a degree in journalism from Northwestern University, and she’s been trained and certified by leading sex and relationship institutions such as The Gottman Institute and Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, among others. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.

With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She’s particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be.

You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: