What Is Feminine Energy? 6 Ways To Be More Feminine

Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.
6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Side

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Most of us probably have some sense of what it's like to be around someone with a lot of feminine energy. But what exactly is feminine energy, and what does being feminine really mean? Here's what you need to know about how to be more feminine and get in touch with your feminine side.

What is feminine energy?

Feminine energy refers to a specific set of traits, considered to be the opposite of traits associated with masculine energy. Your masculine side gets expressed when you're working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward. Your feminine side gets expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process.

Importantly, these traits are not associated with gender. The set of traits we've come to define as "feminine" do stem from the expectations we used to place on women throughout history to behave a certain way. Likewise, the traits associated with being "masculine" are traits we used to expect from men. Today we know people of all genders can have any combination of any of these traits, and no traits are inherent to any gender or should be expected of any gender. That said, the words "feminine" and "masculine" can still be helpful in describing two different and opposing ways of being.

For people of all genders, both feminine energy and masculine energy are necessary to embody in order to feel like a complete person. Men are usually encouraged to identify more with masculine energy, but there's great joy in being able to let go and be flexible. (In fact, it's more important than ever to raise boys without gender stereotypes!) Likewise, many women are still raised with expectations to be feminine, but there are many benefits to being clear, directive, and progressive. It's satisfying for all of us to have outlets for both our masculine and feminine energies.

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Why so many of us are out of touch with our feminine energy traits.

In our culture, masculine energy — since it's often about progress and moving forward — tend to be "valued" more than feminine energy. This creates a feeling of being off-balance, both individually and culturally. When we overvalue masculinity, we spend most of our time working and very little time resting, taking vacation, and spontaneously connecting with others. Overvaluing masculinity also leads us to become dependent on man-made things, such as our smartphones and laptops, and spend less time in nature or expressing our creative selves.

Being overly masculine and under-feminine leaves many of us longing for something else — something rejuvenating, something wild, something resourceful, something spontaneous. It's the feminine!

How to be more feminine.

1. Reflect.

Many of us are so busy that we rarely take time to listen to what's going on inside of us. If we're always acting in an extroverted way, it creates a schism within. We lose touch with our deeper selves.

This can be easily modified. All you have to do is internally connect to who you are. An excellent way is to do this is to start therapy. When you work with a therapist to explore your thoughts and feelings, you're essentially are diving into your deeper, internal, feminine side.

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2. Go into nature.

Places can be characterized as either masculine or feminine, depending on their overarching characteristics. The feminine is life force energy. Places like the forest, jungle, parks, and the ocean are abundant with natural feminine energy. Go there when you're feeling out of sync and in need of revitalization.

3. Get creative.

The feminine is the creative force. Femininity historically described women, and of course many women have bodies that are designed to create life. But creation can occur in many ways — artistic expression, writing, dance, painting, or dreaming up new ideas. Envision what you want to create. Anything that expresses your flow is considered feminine.

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4. Hone your emotional expression.

While the masculine is defined by logic, the feminine is expressed through emotions. We all have emotional selves, but many of us haven't been taught how to understand our feelings. If you're confused about your emotional process, don't worry; you can learn to be more attuned to yourself. You do this by listening to how you feel and boosting your emotional intelligence. As you get to know your feeling states, you'll automatically begin to feel more whole.

5. Value spontaneity and play.

Let's be honest: we don't value vacation, connection, downtime, or rest as much as we should! We're overworked (over-masculinized), and therefore don't often experience the spontaneous joys of life.

Too many of us wait until our next vacation to feel relaxed and playful again. Don't wait that long! You can have mini-vacations every day. Prioritize downtime and time for relaxation. Read books, listen to music, do yoga, and simply enjoy the moment. When you get out of your overworked state, you'll feel more like yourself again.

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6. Force yourself to transform.

Some of us think of the feminine as being quiet and rejuvenating, but that's only half the story. Feminine energy is bold as well — it's the force of transformation.

If things in your life are no longer working for you, it is feminine energy that surges to make a change. This can be dramatic! Destruction comes before creation; we must say goodbye to the old to welcome the new.

While this process of transformation can feel unruly and scary at times, it is necessary. After all, we're changing all the time. Without the powerful movement of feminine energy, both soothing and unnerving, we would remain stagnant. And nobody wants that.

It's easy to lose touch with your feminine side, but as you can see, it's a necessary aspect of who you are. If you feel burned out, overworked, fragmented, or exhausted, you're in desperate need of feminine energy to restore, inspire, and enliven you. Implement these practices, and the feminine will bring you back to life. If you're wanting to get spiritual with it, consider exploring your connection to the Divine Feminine.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a...
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