Why Can't I Cry? 8 Reasons, From Medical To Emotional

Although crying is often tied to an emotionally difficult event, there are actually physical, psychological, and social benefits of crying.

"Crying can help one better manage their emotional stress and strengthen relationships as a result of a healthy, safe response to negative outcomes or situations," says Michael Chen, M.D., a doctor and district medical director at One Medical. "Crying can help one's mood by improving sleep, reducing inflammation, and strengthening the immune system."

Furthermore, research has shown that crying releases specific hormones in the body, such as oxytocin and endorphins, which help relieve physical and psychological pain while reducing other stress-related hormones such as adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH).

"The first thing an infant does when entering the world is cry, and it's a good thing," Mary Joye, LMHC, tells mbg. "Babies have this innate reflex for assurance that someone will take care of their immediate needs. They have no vocabulary other than crying, and if no one comes, they can develop learned helplessness."

According to Joye, it may sound like the baby is self-soothing when they stop crying, but they may be giving up hope. This is one of several main reasons the inability to cry may carry into adulthood and cause emotional distress.

According to Chen, in the context of human development and sociological factors, it's actually common for some people to not be able to cry in adulthood. 

"Crying is a reflexive biological response in most humans to an emotional state such as sadness, anger, and happiness," Chen explains. "As humans reach adulthood, we learn to manage our crying response through learned, negative associations such as embarrassment and cultural expectations, affecting how one person easily cries compared to another."

Sometimes the severity and intensity of a negative situation or outcome is so strong or persistent that the body and mind are in a state of shock, so it may be difficult to cry at that moment. However, some trauma survivors often experience ongoing numbing when they become detached and estranged from others and dissociated or depersonalized from themselves. 

Mental disorders such as schizophrenia or anhedonia can sometimes make it hard or impossible to cry. This is known as the flat affect1, and people who have it don't exhibit usual signs of emotion. Though the flat affect may come off as uncaring or unresponsive due to blunted expressions or a dull, monotone voice, research shows that people who deal with the flat affect experience just as much of internal emotion as neurotypicals do—they just have trouble expressing themselves through crying, laughing, etc.

It's important to cry at least occasionally to release emotions and stress. Tears can be evidence that trauma is seeking a physical outlet to resolve emotional pain. However, although crying is one method to release one's emotions and feelings, it is not the only method.

"The act of talking to a friend or other supportive individuals is another way to release one's feelings and being able to process a difficult or negative situation," says Chen. "Meditative breathing and exercise are other healthy activities that can help one release their emotional state."

According to Chen, recognizing and acknowledging one's emotional state is a vital foundation in cognitive behavioral therapy, which is an effective evidence-based method for the treatment and management of anxiety and depression, and the act of crying is complementary to one's exploration of these emotional states. 

"Visiting a professional in a nonjudgmental environment can be a catalyst for healthy crying," Joye adds. "Many clients in therapy say, 'I never cry.' Some apologize, and this is an indication of a root cause that needs exploration."

If you're struggling with crying, remember that you are far from alone. There are so many mental health organizations focused on support and healing involving the entire spectrum of the beautiful, complex human psyche.