Roommate Syndrome Is Real — Here's What To Do About It, From Relationship Experts

Moving in with your partner is a new and exciting chapter to embark on together. But just like the honeymoon phase of any relationship will eventually fade, so, too, can the excitement of living with each other—and that's when "roommate syndrome" can occur.

"It's very prominent among couples as they start prioritizing their individual daily routines and not so much the relationship and the connection, and therefore, the passion fizzles," explains tenured professor of sexual and relational communication at California State University, Fullerton, Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, Ph.D.

When you live together, you no longer have the luxury of retreating to your own home to process your feelings, so Aramyan notes that learning how to manage conflict is essential—and often requires pausing beforehand.

"Establish some ground rules of what conflict and arguments are going to look like, and have some sort of a plan," she says, adding to take the needs of both of you into account.

If roommate syndrome is occurring, there's a good chance you're both in need of a little romance. To that end, Suwinyattichaiporn recommends keeping the romance alive with things like regular date nights, expressing affection, and doing small gestures for each other. (Here's a brush-up on the five love languages for more inspo!)

Tying back to keeping the romance alive, incorporating novelty into your relationship is one of the best ways to do it. As Suwinyattichaiporn tells mindbodygreen, "Novelty is so, so underrated," adding that it's not about needing new things in order to love your partner but rather putting in the effort to foster romance.

You had to see this one coming! The division of labor in the household is going to be one of the first things that becomes apparent as chores start to pile up or one person starts doing more work than the other.

One of the simplest ways to make sure household responsibilities are fair (and kept up with) is to clearly define and divide them in a way that both people agree with, Aramyan says, adding you can always revisit and readjust as needed.

Sounds counterintuitive to focus on yourself while trying to foster connection with your partner, but according to Aramyan, maintaining your individuality allows for personal growth and prevents the relationship from becoming stagnant. "While living together, encourage each other to pursue individual interests, hobbies, and friendships," she adds.

One major sign of roommate syndrome is a decrease in passion, so Suwinyattichaiporn highly encourages ongoing sexploration, trying new things in the bedroom, and having open conversations about your sex life.

"It's easy for couples who start living together to kind of fall off the passion train and start having 'routine sex,' and it becomes boring," Suwinyattichaiporn explains. "And exploration shouldn't just be about different positions—trying different positions can be fun, and I encourage that, but I think it's more about opening your mind to completely different sexual activities," she adds.

Last but certainly not least, Aramyan tells mindbodygreen that regular relationship check-ins are important for communicating and connecting, as well as working through any road bumps you might be experiencing while living together.