Despite what you might think, missionary doesn't hold the title of Most Intimate Sex Position™. The lotus sex position does.

The lotus sex position involves one partner sitting cross-legged, and the other facing them, straddling them. Think "cowgirl" position (one person rides on top the other) but seated upright. 

We usually pick sex positions based on what you're in the mood for. Craving deep penetration? Doggy style. Super tired? Spooning.

Well, if you're craving more intimacy and romance in your sex sessions, the lotus position is perfect. It offers the opportunity for kissing, full-body embraces, and nonstop eye contact.

Research suggests at least 36% of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to climax1, and Queen notes that most sex educators believe the true number is double that.

Either way, this pleasure bulb contains over 8,000 nerves, so doting on it is always a good move. And with the lotus position, the clit is right there!

"In this position, all your chakras are lined up with your partner's chakras, which creates multiple energy circuits between you," says Carrellas.

A chakra refers to a center of concentrated, spiritual energy throughout the body.

Early traditions say that every human has seven chakras that run from your pelvis up your spine and to the top of your head.

Doggy style may have the reputation as being the anal sex position. But with the lotus position, you can use a penis, dildo, or double-ended dildo to explore anal penetration too, says Carrellas. 

Mainstream illustrations of lotus position might make you think it's reserved for able-bodied, cis-het couples. But both Queen and Carrellas say that couldn't be less true. "This position can be modified so that any gender or genital partner partings can partake," says Queen. 

And Carrellas adds: "[This position] can also be done if one partner is in a wheelchair," says Carrellas. "Just note that the partner sitting on top must make sure to move frequently enough to avoid cutting off circulation in their partner's legs."

The lotus position is actually just the Western name for the most famous tantric sex position: the yab-yum. "Likely, the term 'lotus' took off because someone decided it is more palatable to Western ears," says Carrellas. 

What makes the yab-yum position tantric, however, is not the configuration of your bodies but how you make love in that position, she says.

"Tantric sex means you're breathing, focused on the moment (and not some future orgasmic goal), and being creative," she says. Meaning, simply getting into the lotus position doesn't mean you're having tantric sex.

If you want to learn more about how to have this insanely spiritual, intimate form of sex, here's our full tantric sex guide. 

To get into this position, have one partner—the partner who's going to be doing the penetrating with a dildo, penis, or fingers (if any penetration is going to be taking place!)—drop their bum onto the bed (or floor, or couch!) and assume a crisscross applesauce position. 

Facing them, have the second straddle them and lower down so that you're both chest-to-chest and eye-to-eye.

"If it's comfortable, the seated-on-top person can wrap their legs tightly around their partner's torso while the bottom partner pulls you both together with their arms," says Queen. 

What you do from here depends on your genital combination and sexual preferences.

"Typically, the partner on the bottom will penetrate the partner on top, and then for (vaginal or anal) penetrative intercourse to take place," she says. And it's all about slow, soulful lovemaking, she emphasizes. So rather than fast thrusting, try slow rocking.

If penetration is not on the table (er, bed), she suggests exploring oral-to-nipple stimulation, hand hanky-panky, making out, ear and neck licking/sucking/tongue-flicking, external vibrator use, and grinding. 

"Face-to-face positions are always a good time to try out some erotic talk or share some words of love," says Queen. Something as simple as "You feel so good pressed against me," or "I love feeling this close to you" works wonders.

Lube can make any sex act better, so don't snooze on lube for lotus. "It helps reduce friction, increases the glide and slide between bodies, supports you going faster and slower, and it's a must for anal," says Queen.

Vibrators up the ante on any sex position. Something like a vibrating cock ring like the Lelo Tor 2 or wearable clitoral vibrator like the Dame Eva II work best for penetrative intercourse. Something like the classic Magic Wand or Unbound Bender are great for nonpenetrative play. 

Is the person on top super flexible? Rather than plopping your feet on either side of your partners hips or wrapping them full-around their back, tap into your hamstring mobility and drape them over your partner's shoulders like knapsack straps. 

This adjustment will alter the angle of penetration so that if the person on top has a vagina, their urethral sponge (colloquially known as the G-spot) will be more likely to be targeted. Squirting orgasm, anyone? 

No doubt, between all that eye-gazing and chakras alignment, the lotus position is intimate. Like, really intimate. So if it's starting to feel too intimate (no judgment!), tap into your inner Missy Elliot and flip it and reverse it. 

If the opportunity for eye contact is why you and your partner are trying Lotus, Carrellas recommends trying tantric eye gazing.