Why Some Exfoliate Their Skin When Stressed Out & What To Do Instead

Years ago—before I realized how harsh I was being to my delicate skin and well before I realized how sensitive my skin is naturally—a telltale sign I was stressed out would be flaky, red skin. Some of this was internal, as stressed-out periods often trigger flare-ups like acne, rosacea, and increased sensitivity to external aggressors in the skin. Those are all very real concerns with stressed-out skin and absolutely played a factor in my increased redness and inflamed patches. 

But a big part of my problem was, well, me. I used to have a nasty habit of what I've now deemed "stress exfoliating," which I define as the act of overdoing peels, masks, scrubs, and potent treatments when anxious—one does this as a coping mechanism designed to divert attention to the skin rather than deal what's *actually* happening. (In case it's not obvious, this is not an official dermatological term; it's one I entirely made up myself.) 

"Rather than peeling back the layers to explore what's causing the feelings of stress, our inclination is to focus on what we see on the surface and go after it with vigor," says board-certified dermatologist Keira Barr, M.D. "This creates a vicious cycle, though, because if we focus our attention on what we see rather than the factors responsible for them being there, we continue to experience the feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. But when we are willing to sit with our feelings and really feel the sadness, grief, or discomfort that is underneath and accept ourselves anyway, we're able to approach ourselves and our skin with compassion instead of judgment."

Essentially, exfoliating our skin—and attempting to rid our face of any perceived imperfection—is a way for us to identify, control, and immediately "treat" an issue that we can see, right in front of our faces. "Most of us, myself included are hoping there is a quick fix, a magic lotion, potion, or pill to deal with the problem, but as I've learned, there is no such thing, and just using surface-level solutions won't heal deeper-level issues," says Barr. To us, in that moment, it's much easier to prod at our own skin rather than deal with why we are stressed out to begin with. 

Well, the first step is realizing that you're doing it in the first place—as with many self-soothing and coping strategies, many may not even notice what's going on to begin with. (At first, I sure didn't! I thought my over-exfoliation and umpteenth mask in a single night was a form of "self-care" and was helping me rather than what it was doing: weakening my skin barrier function.) 

Once you realize that you've developed a habit of stress exfoliating, step away from the mirror. "The most important thing to do is to identify the situations that cause the picking and then avoid them; if you pick at night, you need to get out of the bathroom as soon as possible," he says. "Do your skin care, brush your teeth, and get out," says board-certified dermatologist Angelo Landriscina, M.D., as we previously reported about how to stop picking pimples. "You can even go as far as figuring out how long it takes for you to do your skin care routine, set a timer on your phone, and make sure you are out of there when that timer is up."

You may also look into starting a "gratitude practice" for your skin. This can help you look past the parts of your skin that are bothering you and focus on the things you love about it. Finally, there are many ways to reduce stress in the moment and long term: Move your body with a simple yoga flow, practice breathwork, or talk to someone. All these can help you deal with what's actually going on.