Want More Matches On Your Dating App? 3 Changes To Make, From A Dating Coach
A new year is upon us, and with it, perhaps a newfound zeal for dating as well. If you're looking for love in 2023 and have taken to the apps to help you find it, here are three tips you shouldn't forget, according to dating and relationship coach Clara Artschwager:
Radical authenticity is in.
The name of the dating game this year is "authenticity" for a couple of reasons. For one thing, it's always worth it to stay true to yourself. But on top of that, you also want people you're actually interested in to swipe left on you—and the best way to do that, Artschwager says, is to own who you are unapologetically.
Whether it's a picture of you that you think really captures your spirit, a prompt about your favorite hobbies or interests, or even coming right out and saying, "I'm looking for a long-term relationship," the people that align with what you're putting out there are going to be the ones matching with you.
"There can be kind of shielding or discomfort around those things—old programming that if you put these things on your profile you'll appear more needy in some capacity—but I view it as really embodying and emboldening our desires," Artschwager adds.
Dimming your niche interests is out.
Embarrassed about your love for animé? Want to keep your quirky collection of crystals a secret? Well, don't!
As Artschwager tells mbg, these niche interests are what make you you. And anytime you feel a compulsion to dim yourself in some way on your profile, that's probably the very thing you ought to lean into.
"There's this idea of needing to portray a certain persona, so anywhere you think you need to portray something, or you don't want to share something, run toward that," she explains, adding that showcasing who you really are is where the magic happens.
Last but not least, don't be afraid to get specific about the things you're into. As Artschwager says, people are compelled by and drawn to stories and specifics. The more you can capture who you really are on your profile, the more of a picture you're painting for the person on the other end of the app. And the right people will love that painting!
The key here, she adds, is not that you're looking for someone to have the exact same specific interests or ideas as you but rather, she notes, people will be attracted to your obvious and inherent nuance, depth, and, yes, quirkiness.
When it comes to dating apps, it's not the number of likes you get—but the number of quality matches. With these tips, not only will you probably get more likes, but more importantly, you'll get more likes from people who you'd actually want to match with.
Sarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Editor, a registered yoga instructor, and an avid astrologer and tarot reader. She received her bachelor's in broadcasting and mass communication from State University of New York at Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.