I was surprised to learn that so much of what I’d heard about marriage wasn’t true—like that both of you have to work on the relationship for things to improve, and relationships are hard work.
But there’s no such thing as working on a relationship. There’s only working on yourself, and then your partner will respond to you better.
My relationship felt like hard work before I learned the intimacy skills I have now. Now it’s my soft place to land and hear that I’m special and beautiful.
At my lowest point, I asked women who’d been married at least 15 years for marriage advice. What they said didn’t make sense to me, but in my desperation I was willing to try anything.
That’s when I got my miracle: The man who wooed me returned. I'd had the key all along. In September, we’ll celebrate 28 years of marriage.
Even better, I have the marriage I dreamed I would have when I said, "I do."
Marriage has been the best self-improvement project I’ve ever undertaken. Today I feel like the respectful, calm woman I want to be—not the shrill, eye-rolling one I’d become.