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6 Ways To Soothe Your Nervous System When You're Stressed Out
Whether you're an empath who can feel other people's energies and emotions in your own system or a highly sensitive person who picks up easily on stimuli in your environment, other people's energy can make its way under your skin from time to time.
Being an empath means you may bond quickly with others or quickly feel what others are feeling, which can create many lovely, nourishing, intimate experiences. Yet being highly sensitive or an empath (or both) also means you can quickly become overwhelmed or overstimulated by others.
When that happens, try the following to soothe your sensitive system and bring it back into balance:
Recognize when your sensitive system needs soothing
Your system might need soothing if you experience an increase in any of the following:
- Racing thoughts
- Feeling drained or tired
- Feeling jumpy or on edge
- Craving alone time
- Numbing out with addictive behaviors
- Isolating even when you're lonely
- Overindulging in fatty, salty, or sugary junk food
- Feeling more easily stressed out
- Having trouble falling or staying asleep
Of course, talk to your health care providers to make sure your vitamin, mineral, blood sugar, and hormone levels are balanced, as well as to rule out any underlying medical issues.
Sometimes just recognizing you need soothing can be soothing!
Come home to yourself with quality solo time
Take a safe walk in nature, read an inspiring book, or get lost in a creative hobby solo. Doing things you enjoy alone will help you anchor into your own energy so you feel less scattered, frazzled, or drained.
Make sure this alone time is quality time when you are reconnecting with yourself by doing activities that are relaxing, engaging, and enjoyable for you. If you need to clean the house, for example, make this solo time quality time by listening to a favorite podcast while you work.
Get in touch with what you're currently wanting, needing & feeling
Because empaths can feel what's going on around them (including other people's emotions) in their own system, they can forget to prioritize their own experience, getting pulled along by or sucked into everyone else's experience.
Being sensitive can sometimes make people compassionate as well, which can lead to caring so much about others that the sensitive person loses themselves. Don't get crowded out of your own life!
Connect with yourself daily about what you're wanting, needing, and feeling. This will help you separate from others in a healthy way. Plus, by making yourself a priority, you'll be able to show up in an even more grounded way for those you care about.
Lower the physical stimuli in your immediate environment
Lowering the physical stimuli in your environment is one of the fastest ways for sensitive people to soothe their systems. If you live alone, this can easily be accomplished by putting on gentle music or nature sounds, snuggling into your softest clothes or bedding, dimming the lights, and putting your phone on silent.
If you live with a roommate, a romantic partner, kids, or several pets, you can create a sanctuary space within your home to retreat to when you need to recover.
Keep in mind these can be common areas in a home that are transitioned to sanctuary spaces with less stimuli when you need soothing, like a living room, bathroom, or back porch.
Don't turn someone into a healing project
In my book Empath Heart: Relationship Strategies for Sensitive People, I explain how some sensitive people have a strong inner healer who can go on rogue healing missions, turning lovers, friends, and co-workers into healing projects.
If this happens, mindfully begin creating healthy space between you and the other person, and remind yourself that you are not responsible for the other person's problems.
It's very normal for cherished loved ones, romantic partners, and colleagues to have issues they are working on or to go through times of crisis. It's not about being in relationship with mythical people who have no problems or even refusing to support people in a healthy way—just watch out if you tend to be a "fixer" or tenderhearted person. Don't let someone else's troubles take over.
Witness & observe others instead of always feeling & absorbing
Sensitive people like empaths might be naturally wired to tune in to others and feel with them, yet they can learn to witness and observe instead.
Tuning into others, physical spaces, or the collective, and feeling a range of emotions—from positive to challenging—can be very nurturing for a sensitive person who is wired to feel with others.
However, it's not always appropriate or productive, and sometimes it's simply too overwhelming. Practice witnessing and observing others as well by going into your head and getting curious about what people are feeling instead of going into your heart to feel with them.
This is a mindfulness practice that becomes more natural with study and use. In certain situations, holding a calm, centered energy for someone else is the most compassionate and helpful action.
The takeaway
There are so many beautiful aspects to being an empath or highly sensitive person, like connecting deeply to others and the world around you and having a strong line of communication with your own intuition. But with great sensitivity comes the potential for great overwhelm—and when those moments strike, it's imperative to know how to protect your energy and soothe your system.
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