Everyone ought to be having more sex. And better sex.
Sexual energy is your super fuel. It is a vastly underused resource that you can tap into to boost your physical and emotional vitality, mental clarity and spiritual well-being.
On a physical level, people who have regular sex keep their hormones and neurotransmitters flowing optimally; meaning, your brain releases all sorts of feel-good chemicals that make life’s challenges seem much easier to conquer.
The ascent to orgasm releases dopamine: the cocaine high. This motivates you to achieve in the world and induces feelings of strength and confidence. We are flooded with oxytocin at orgasm, which helps you to feel more sociable and strengthens not only your bond with your partner, but opens you to forging deeper relationships with the other people in your life. Plus, oxytocin reduces cortisol, the major stress hormone.
When you are sexually active, you radiate higher levels of pheromones, making you even more attractive to the opposite sex. It’s my favorite kind of perfume.
If you need to clear your mind, you can meditate or have sex. Or both. Studies have shown that orgasm and meditation light up the same brain centers and shut off our “chatter mind.” You’ll return to work with more vigor and creativity.
Not only does sex make you more beautiful, calmer and smarter, it is one of the most important ways to stay connected with yourself and your lover. And when your intimate relationship is thriving, it feeds all the other parts of your life.
Like anything, there are junk-food versions and gourmet-versions of sex. The kind of sex that is most transformative and energizing involves getting emotionally and physically naked.
We all need a place to rest and remove the armor we wear in the world, our day-to-day lives, and to recharge. Few people know that their intimate relationship is one of the best and fastest places to do this.
A key ingredient for this kind of alchemy is honesty. Revealing your deepest thoughts, feelings and fantasies is the foundation of life-changing intimacy. Instead of hiding these things for fear of not looking good, it becomes empowering to own and share them.
Says Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest need is to be seen.”
When you have a place in your life you can do this, you’ll feel the benefits everywhere: in your work, friendships and family. You’ll show up more fully. Your intimate life will help to self-actualize you.
One of my most pivotal relationships taught me the power of surrender. Of totally lowering my guard and being seen. My partner and I had an agreement to show all of our strengths and weaknesses to each other. By throwing them into the alchemical cauldron of sexual love, they turned to gold.
The more I learned how to be vulnerable in my relationship, the stronger I got in my outer life. I had a place to relax, open and soften. This rejuvenated me and gave me strength. I became more confident in my work, as a woman and in myself in general.
Men need this just as much as women: a place to let go of everything and be cherished for the essence of who you are.
When you activate this power of surrender on and emotional and sexual level, the impact on your entire life is huge. You feel fulfilled, revitalized and capable of giving love with ease and grace to all you meet. You tap into the divine flow of life, via the microcosm of your flow with each other.
Next time you feel too tired to have sex, remind yourself that sexual energy is your superfood, nuclear power and means to spiritually uplift yourself.
Now go get some.