This Type Of Narcissism Is More Common In Women — And Is Linked To Abusive Behavior

There's a popular unspoken assumption that if we're talking about narcissists, we're necessarily talking about men. But people of all genders can be narcissists, though narcissism can present in different ways across genders. This is important to acknowledge, especially as it relates to intimate partner violence, which is linked to narcissism.

A lot of the scientific research on narcissism tends to focus on one specific type of narcissism known as grandiose narcissism, according to lead researcher Ava Green, Ph.D., a forensic psychology lecturer at the City University of London. Grandiose narcissism involves an overly exaggerated, unrealistic view of oneself, which fuels a sense of entitlement and superiority over others. 

"Grandiose features of narcissism resemble stereotypically masculine expressions including an inflated self-esteem, physical expressions of aggression, entitlement, excessive need for power, and an authoritarian character style," Green told PsyPost.

But women tend to present a different type of narcissism known as vulnerable narcissism, also sometimes referred to as covert narcissism. Vulnerable narcissists tend to be highly sensitive to other people's views of them or to perceived criticism, and they see their feelings and problems as more important than everyone else's. They're self-absorbed like any other narcissist, but they're more preoccupied with feeling victimized than ruling over others.

"Vulnerable traits resemble more feminine expressions, including overt shyness, neuroticism, shame, hypersensitivity, and low self-esteem," Green explained.

Green and her colleagues surveyed 152 men and 176 women on their personality traits and relationship behaviors. Vulnerable narcissism was assessed based on agreement with statements such as "When others don't notice me, I start to feel worthless." Their findings showed women tended to have much more vulnerable narcissistic traits than men did, whereas grandiose narcissism was less linked to gender. 

Importantly, among women, that vulnerable narcissism alone was linked to perpetrating both physical and psychological abuse, including things like verbally attacking their partner, shoving or hitting them, or destroying their belongings.

Narcissism was also linked to abusive behavior in men, of course, though there was more variation: Their grandiose narcissism was linked to psychological abuse while their vulnerable narcissism was linked to physical abuse.

We know narcissistic personality disorder is linked with abusive behavior in relationships, but it's important to recognize that narcissism can present differently in different people—and it can certainly be influenced by social norms around gender. 

"It is important to recognize this personality trait as more complex and multilayered, a construct that is deeply ingrained in cultural norms associated with masculinity and femininity," Green said.

But that doesn't make any kind of narcissism any less dangerous. Female narcissists can be just as abusive and harmful as male narcissists, even if they tend to display their narcissism in different ways.