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The #1 Way To Quiet Self-Doubt & Achieve Your Goals, From A Health Coach
As a health coach, it’s my job to help clients get in touch with their true motivations when it comes to well-being.
And I've come to realize that it’s much easier to stick with healthy habits when you're coming from a place of love (especially for yourself) over fear. When you have that strong relationship with yourself, you will naturally want to do things that nourish your mind, body, and soul. If your health starts to feel like a chore, it’s time to dive a little deeper and identify where your motivation lies.
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Why self-love is essential for achieving any health goal
Clients come to me with various goals like making healthier food choices, managing stress, or implementing a new fitness routine.
Making these changes can feel overwhelming when you don’t have a strong foundation of connecting with and trusting yourself.
For example, you might want to cook more meals at home but have difficulty finding the time or motivation. Do you have faith in your ability to achieve this goal? Do you love yourself enough to want to nourish your body in the first place?
One way health coaches help clients strengthen their relationship with themselves is by asking about their past successes. What’s something you were able to achieve (wellness-related or not) that made you feel good or proud? And how did you get there? How can you utilize those skills in order to achieve your wellness goal(s)?
In the process of answering these questions, clients may realize that they're resourceful, creative, curious, or persistent—all strengths that can be useful for implementing new health habits. Your thoughts create your reality, so focusing on the positive (like your strengths and past successes) will set the groundwork for your well-being vision.
If the way you talk to yourself is filled with negativity, blame, or shame, no 12-step skincare routine can fix that.
This approach is the opposite of “toxic positivity” where you’re telling yourself everything is great when it really isn’t. Focusing on the positive looks like finding the lesson when dealing with life’s hardships (instead of playing the victim), seeing inspiration in the success of others (rather than feeling threatened), or looking at effort as mastery (rather than a chore). It’s these little “script flips” that will make a huge difference.
How to turn self-care into self-love
There’s a major gap that I find in clients when it comes to self-care and self-love. You may be doing “all the self care things” but if the way you talk to yourself is filled with negativity, blame, or shame, no 12-step skincare routine can fix that. Self-care can lead to self-love when you have the tools to guide you there.
So today I’m sharing some practices that will quiet the noise of self-doubt and increase the love you have for yourself—the key to achieving your health goals!
- Write down 3-5 things you love about yourself. We tend to obsess over the things we want to change about ourselves, but what would happen if you shifted that focus to the things you like (or even love!) about yourself? This can be external (“I love my green eyes” or “I take care of my skin and it shows!”) or more internal (“I’m proud of how far I’ve come” or “I love my curious mind.”) Set aside a few minutes a day or a week to implement this practice and watch what unfolds with your internal dialogue.
- Spend at least 5 minutes a day doing something that’s just for you. It seems like as a society, we’re busier and unhappier than ever (not a coincidence!). When we put all of our energy into our jobs, our relationships, our families—anything but ourselves—where does that leave us? We all have 5 minutes to spare, so why not spend it doing something that really fills you up? This can be dancing, walking, meditating, reading…whatever it is that brings you joy. You deserve to spend time doing something that you love.
- Find affirmations that resonate with you. It’s one thing to write “I love myself" on a sticky note, but it's another thing to really believe it. You need to find an affirmation practice that resonates with you. I personally love the Superhuman Activations app, which serves up meditations and affirmations you can listen to any time.
- Try deep belly breathing. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart and inhale deeply for 5 seconds, pressing your belly into your hand, and exhale for 5 seconds. Practice for 1-5 minutes, depending on what you need. This gives you an opportunity to connect to your breath and your body and over time will allow you to build more self-trust and self-love.
- Focus on what you can give, rather than what you want to receive. This is my new favorite one as it’s something I’ve been making more of an effort to practice myself. We tend to be so focused on what we want to get in life, which is not necessarily a bad thing (especially when you’re intentional with your manifestations). But what if you switched that to what you can give? When we give by volunteering, contributing, demonstrating a random act of kindness, etc., the resulting dopamine hit is much healthier than the one you get checking your Instagram likes. Think about how you can put your natural gifts towards giving. If you’re an empath, practice active listening to make someone feel heard. If you’re a creator, what can you make that will have a positive impact on others? Simply just showing love for your partner or family member is a way to focus on what you can give.
The takeaway
Of all the healthy habits to implement, the act of self-love can be the most challenging. But when you can achieve this, everything else will fall into place. Be patient and know these small acts practiced daily can impact your life in ways you never thought possible.
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