The Challenges Of Embracing Vulnerability As Parents & What To Do To Get Past It

It is universally human to yearn to be truly known, to be seen, to be understood, to make a difference, and to be loved. What most of us either don't know or don't believe is that the clearest pathway to meeting these and other deeper desires is by being vulnerable. But therein lies the dynamic tension, because being vulnerable also means risking getting rejected and our feelings being hurt.

The standard dictionary definition of it is essentially of being physical or emotionally wounded and open to attack or damage. That certainly does not sound fun! Colloquially we also know it to be someone who is completely and rawly open, unguarded with their heart, mind, and soul; also, that being vulnerable happens when you trust completely. This is sounding more inviting. Or there's the definition by Brené Brown, the New York Times bestselling author, who wrote The Power of Vulnerability; she defines vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."

I like to think of it along the lines of courage: Being vulnerable is born out of courage, and the original Latin meaning of courage is...to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.

Parenting is deeply vulnerable—and most of us are afraid to be open and reveal what's really going on behind closed doors. Even if we know better, we compare ourselves to the bright, happy faces on social media, where everyone has it together and is doing cool things. While many will admit our daily lives as parents are filled with moments we would not want to expose—meltdowns, messy houses, doubts, inadequacies, fears we are failing at the job—we are cutting ourselves off from potential care and much-needed support.

I am inspired by the leadership of the Legend family to break the norm of what is deemed "appropriate" to share. In response to this paradigm-breaking choice, gratitude, care, and support flooded in.

As a first step on the road to experiencing the power of our vulnerability, do an inventory of all the mistaken beliefs and rules in our culture and your family that may limit you.

As a result of operating under these mistaken beliefs, we think our vulnerabilities are ugly and should be hidden. I offer a metaphor to help us think differently: Would you say the Grand Canyon is ugly and should be covered up and hidden? I doubt it. But isn't it nothing more than a wound on the Earth's surface—a crack that over time and, being exposed to the elements, has become a wonder of nature, and people sit on the edge of it in awe of its beauty?

If we're not willing to show ourselves and risk being hurt, there is no way to meet our deeper yearnings to be truly seen, known, supported, and loved. When you're in your most vulnerable state, it triggers natural protectiveness from others around you. There are no guarantees, and sometimes we will get hurt, but we are not meant to be impermeable, hardened, or shielded. Our greatest vulnerability can be our greatest strength.

You can flex and build your vulnerability muscles in many ways right now. These are simple but powerful exercises that put you in the vulnerable zone: