What Does It Mean To Be Allosexual? Understanding The Sexual Desire Spectrum

The term allosexual typically describes a person who feels or has felt sexual attraction, according to multi-certified sex and relationships educator Anne Hodder-Shipp. The prefix allo- means "other," and as an umbrella term, allosexual can be used in addition to specific sexual orientations. For example, someone could identify as an allosexual lesbian or a pansexual allosexual.

Allosexuality is a fairly new term, which means not everyone will immediately recognize it or its importance, and this often leads to misconceptions. Hodder-Shipp says one of the main misconceptions linked to allosexuality is that the term itself is unnecessary because of "the incorrect and harmful assumption that all people experience consistent sexual desire and attraction, and because it's the norm, it doesn't necessitate a label."

As mentioned, allosexual is the opposite of asexual, which is another term on the spectrum of sexual desire. According to sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D., an asexual person experiences little or no sexual desire or attraction toward others. Although the ace or asexual spectrum does include exceptions, an ace-spectrum person will be more circumscribed in their attraction, or it will be absent for them. On the other hand, an allosexual person does experience attraction and generally the interest to act on it. 

The term allosexual is defined by experiencing sexual attraction, but it doesn't specify gender. This is where sexual orientation terms come into play. Someone who is allosexual can also identify as cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, or any of the other gender identities, as well as gay, straight, bisexual, and any of the sexualities.

There's a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Sexual attraction speaks to who you want to have sex with, while romantic attraction speaks to who you want romantic relationships with or feel emotional connections with. That said, "Alloromantic" means that a person is interested in romantic relationships, and it's likely that would include sexual attraction and a sexual relationship. 

We know what sexism is, but what does allosexism mean? According to Hodder-Shipp, allosexism is rooted in the inaccurate presumption that all people experience sexual attraction, and if they don't, they should. Allosexism shows up almost everywhere in Western culture and affects us in both micro and macro ways, including erasing and invalidating asexuality. 

"The socially constructed idea that all humans experience a universal 'drive' for sex is so deeply rooted in our systems and institutions that many people—including doctors, therapists, and other professionals with influence—have a hard time believing that someone might not experience sexual attraction and, instead, create false narratives to make sense of what they don't understand," they explain. "Folks who do experience sexual attraction benefit from allosexual privilege and don't experience the same kind of judgment, misrepresentation, and pathologization that folks on the asexual spectrum do—but keep in mind that allosexism harms everyone, not just ace people."

Allosexism contributes to an array of misinformation and misunderstanding about how attraction and desire show up for people and help perpetuate harmful expectations for how our feelings and bodies are supposed to show up and function.

For some, labels may seem antiquated or arbitrary, but they are far more than that. Susan Milstein, Ph.D., who is a human sexuality educator on the medical review board of Women's Health Interactive, says labels can be an important way of telling people things about ourselves and creating community.

"Labels can [also] be a start for helping to educate people. Using these labels is important because they help to start a dialogue and can help increase awareness that there are orientations other than the ones they're familiar with. But again, there's the possibility that that will lead to othering, or the idea that this is just a phase or a trend. At the end of the day, labels are important. They help with visibility; they help with education, and they can help with acceptance," she says.