Everyone talks about chemistry as that magic ingredient we all need in a relationship but can't quite quantify. We use words like attraction, connection, knowing, vibes, or fit to describe what it feels like. But what is it, really? And is chemistry always a good thing?
We hear people say, "there just wasn't any chemistry," to explain why their first date won't turn into a second. On the other end of the spectrum, people might say, "there was so much chemistry right away" or "we both just felt it." Interaction progresses from there, sometimes leading to successful, happy relationships, and other times to years of difficult interactions.
Most people who are dating or in relationships agree that the feeling of chemistry is real, but not everyone places the same value on it. Some take a bottom-line "gotta have it" attitude, while others are more circumspect. Some people don't even see it as a good thing initially.
Below are several types of compatibility we often characterize as chemistry—some being more important than others—along with suggestions for ways to take a closer look at what's driving these feelings.