There are no rules when it comes to the grief of losing a child. It's a roller-coaster ride, and you have no choice but to submit to the dips and dives. It is that thing that leaves you powerless. And you feel this sorrow with every ounce of your body because you're human. And all the while you're expected to step into a "new normal."
In this stage, I began to find a new purpose. I came to realize that I could be the person who encourages and inspires those who are going through this with me and will go through it after me. Ultimately, it is up to those of us who endure this weight to enlighten others about how to move through that consuming tunnel of darkness toward the land of the living.
Yes, my son's birth showed me the foundation of motherhood, and his death taught me hope—taught me what is most important in life. As they say, in becoming a mother, you come face to face with the strength you didn't know was conceivable and worries you didn't know existed.
My son taught me empathy and forgiveness. He taught me how to look at life with both eyes wide open and with no regret. As I grieved the loss of my child, something else emerged; I found another fulfillment—a new way to teach my daughter and lead her in my footsteps. I submitted to being an advocate for various causes and helping others. The ways I do this include writing, creating platforms to comfort and create community among grieving mothers, as well speaking to those who are affected by the loss of a child.
This incredible loss is something that unites all types of people. This grief crosses boundaries of community, neighborhood, race, religion, and culture within our society.
My most recent project, a documentary theater piece titled The Diary of a Mother, speaks to what mothers have endured as well as the complex issues we face on a daily basis. I intend it as a source of hope to help propel other mothers out of darkness into the marvelous light of discovering a new purpose.
Ultimately, I feel as if I have a responsibility to the mothers with whom I share this life-changing experience. My new purpose in life is to empower and educate others.