Conscious sensuality is what most people think of when they hear the word "Tantra." Without a doubt, it's an amazing part of being in a Tantric relationship.
But what is conscious sensuality, exactly? It's being fully aware in your touch, contact, erotic energy, and lovemaking.
As simple as it sounds, many of us aren't that aware in our sexual contact, but that's OK because it's a practice. Here's a simple way to bring more awareness to your physical intimacy:
Using a timer, cycle through 10 five-minute intervals of connecting with your partner, focusing on being fully present in each exercise.
Set the timer for the first five minutes, sit in front of your partner, and look him or her in the eyes while moving your body slightly as you breathe. Just focus on this one task—eye-gazing and breathing—for the full five minutes. When the timer goes off, bow to your partner to acknowledge the end of that session, then move on to the next.
In the next five-minute session, one partner can sensually touch and massage the other's arms, legs, neck, and body. The partner who's giving touch can practice being fully present in that giving; the partner who's receiving can practice being fully present in receiving.
In the next five minutes, switch roles.
In the next five minutes, practice kissing with full awareness. Just be in the moment, not needing to do anything but kiss. See what that's like.
And keep going from there! Get creative! As you can imagine, there are lots of possibilities.
What's beautiful about conscious sensuality is that, unlike spontaneous lovemaking, there's a container for each experience, so you're less likely to move too quickly to the "next thing." In other words, you're staying with one sensual practice for a set amount of time, which allows you to fully show up for that experience.
Basically, it's meditation and sex combined! And who doesn't like that?
As you can see, all these Tantric practices hold a common theme: bringing your awareness into the present moment, into your body, into the energy that exists here and now and being with it. That's what Tantra is, and that's what an alive relationship is, too.