How To Make It Work When Your Partner Travels For Work A Lot

Your relationship is great. You two have a steady and predictable schedule of shared weeknight dinners, cuddles at bedtime, and plenty of quality time each day—that is, until your partner rolls out their suitcase to pack for an extended work trip. Suddenly off they go, and your comfortable IRL life together shifts into a temporary long-distance relationship. Having a partner who travels for work can be challenging, but the distance doesn't have to affect your emotional connection. We reached out to couples' therapist Antonia Di Leo, LMFT, to learn a few therapist-approved ways to cope with a traveling partner and continue to nurture the relationship:

Try to take the time to talk about what you need from your partner before they go out of town and vice versa. Some people find it laborious to text throughout the day; some want to feel connected every hour. For a relationship with distance to flourish, it's essential that the baseline of communication is defined early on and that your preferences are clearly stated. 

Even if it's not the most interesting thing to you, ask about your partner's meetings so you don't build up a romanticized notion of what they are up to. It's easy to let your imagination run wild imagining that they're off having fun while you are holding down the fort. Also make sure to share what you are doing on a regular basis so they are aware of what's happening at home. By giving and asking for these small day-to-day details, you're both able to visualize each other's experiences and stay close. 

Since your catch-ups can become more infrequent, maximize the limited time you have together by actively listening to your partner. When the intention is set to thoughtfully absorb your partner's thoughts, you are helping them validate their own experiences to feel truly heard and less alone. By savoring your conversations and staying attentive to your partner, it adds a mindful presence back to the relationship. 

If correspondences grow stale, find a way to spice it up so it remains a fun way to stay in touch instead of a chore. "Create interesting ways to communicate with your partner. FaceTime daily, send silly Marco Polo videos. This way, you will feel connected even when you are physically far apart," Di Leo suggests. "By connecting this way and seeing each other's faces, you will still feel like you are a part of their life."

Of course, we all know this intuitively, but it can be a powerful reminder when our partner goes out of town that life goes on. By purposely filling up your time with a strong support system, you'll be reminded that you are more than just the other half of your significant partner. 

Ask yourself: What are the things that I enjoy but wouldn't normally do with my partner? Is it the new exhibition you've been wanting to go to, but art isn't their thing? Dying to go to that new restaurant they're allergic to? Now's the time to go. These business trips can serve as built-in periods of practiced interdependence when you get to return to what you want, without having to worry about anyone else. 

Cultivating a daily practice of meditation and yoga can be a beneficial way to ground you as they take flight. "The objective is to feel whole with your partner as well as on your own. Developing a sense of inner peace through a meditative practice allows for the individual to practice breathing, awareness, and consciousness throughout their day," Di Leo says. "This may help decrease anxiety, bodily tensions, and an overall self-awareness for a way to rely on yourself for calmness and a sense of peace."

The anticipation before a trip can be sad, so it can be fun to start a shared routine to prepare for the trips together. Help pack their suitcase and leave little Post-it love notes pressed between their clothes for a little surprise. Send funny memes throughout the day to make them laugh. Choose a book or a Netflix show to get into together so you have one thing in common to share while you're apart, even when your schedule drastically differs. This little bit of romantic effort can go a long way in sustaining your partnership. 

By feeling safe and comfortable enough to keep the lines of communication open, you are both showing up to your relationship to say, This matters, and I want to work on this with you. Opening up the dialogue will also help prevent future fights down the line, so when it's reunion time, you can stay focused on each other.