eHarmony vs. OKCupid: Which Dating App Is Better? We Tried Them Both

The first step to intentional online dating is using the right app. When it comes to eHarmony vs OKCupid, both are great for serious relationships—but there are some key differences. Lucky for you, I tried them both. 

When it comes to forming a real connection and relationship with someone, eHarmony and OKCupid both have high success rates. These apps were essentially designed for people who want to be in love and meet their forever person. 

I'll be honest, setting up a profile on eHarmony is time-consuming—but it's well worth it.

To start, you'll be prompted to give basic information such as your name, age, location, and so on. You'll also add up to 12 profile photos.

Next, you'll answer a series of questions that allow you to get a bit more personal about who you are and what you're looking for.

First, you'll be given questions such as "Is cheating OK in a relationship?" or "Would you and your partner share a room or have separate rooms?"

The next set of questions is where eHarmony really unique. The app shows a series of shapes and pictures, allowing you to choose the most aesthetically pleasing ones.

Yes, it might feel like you've been answering questions for an hour at this point—but I loved the thorough and unique profile design of eHarmony. It's a refreshing break from the same old prompts and responses on other dating apps, and it allows you to think more intentionally about what you're looking for.

When creating my profile on OKCupid, I started off by filling out basic information like name, age, location, and the type of relationship I'm looking for. Next, I added a paragraph summary including a bit about my hobbies and interests.

You can also choose to answer questions pertaining to your weight, height, languages you speak, education level, employment status, astrological signs, and more.

Once your profile is set up, eHarmony is pretty simple to navigate.

I'll note, there's a big difference between the paid version of eHarmony and the free version. You must have a premium membership to see people's photos and full profiles and to send messages.

The membership costs between $20 and $42 per month (we'll break down these costs in just a few) and comes with other fun perks such as seeing who has viewed your profile.

To begin finding matches, you can search for people based on the preferences you've chosen; on each profile you'll see a compatibility score.

Based on a quiz you take at sign-up, eHarmony's compatibility score really sets it apart from other dating apps. You instantly feel more intentional and informed when swiping on potential matches than just looking at prompts and photos alone.

Since its launch in 2004, OKCupid has been connecting compatible couples and long-lasting relationships. With its vast array of questions and a strong algorithm, meeting your match isn't quite as difficult as it sounds.

On each profile, you get a percentage score that tells you how compatible you are with that user based on three factors: what you tell the app you're looking for in a partner, what that person tells the app they are looking for in a partner, and how you both answer the matching questions.

Michael Kaye, director of brand and communications at OKCupid, weighs in on the app's successful compatibility methods.

"Each and every question is personalized to each user," Kaye explains. "For example, there are specific questions that LGBTQ+ users may get, or depending on geography and location you'll get different questions. This means that not everyone will see and have the same questions as others."

Kaye says there have been almost 200 million responses to OKCupid's questions in 2023 alone, and almost 10 billion since the app's launch.

To me, OKCupid really stands out in the dating world because it is easy to use and asks questions other apps aren't asking.

Many dating apps are free, but some require paid accounts to access all the features. eHarmony and OKCupid both have free versions, with eHarmony's being notably more limited than OKCupid's.

While dating may not fly to the top of your mind when you consider factors that impact your well-being, social connection has a huge impact on longevity. Research has linked loneliness to lower health literacy1 and cognitive decline2.

Dating apps like OKCupid and eHarmony bring an endless amount of opportunity to build relationships, enhance your well-being, and thereby improve your longevity. And connecting with people on dating apps can feel exciting if you're doing it right. 

"[Dating apps] are a great way to meet people that you might not otherwise meet in your everyday life," Trotter says, adding that more and more people are meeting their partners on dating apps these days.

Per Trotter, your success with dating apps comes down to understanding how to make them work for you. "In general, know how to present yourself, how to assess other profiles, how to use the messaging to gather more information, how to move off the site and plan a first date and beyond," she explains.

Before joining dating apps, Trotter says it's important to reflect and look at patterns in previous relationships to figure out likes and dislikes.

"Take time to do your work to understand your relationship history, what worked and what didn't in the past, what you want and need now compared to the past, and what role you played in previous dynamics," Trotter adds.