How The Sacral Chakra's Shadow Could Be Keeping You From Your Soul Mate

Naturopathic Doctor & Nurse Practitioner By Erica Matluck, N.D., N.P.
Naturopathic Doctor & Nurse Practitioner
Erica Matluck, N.D., N.P. is an NYC-based naturopathic doctor, nurse practitioner, and holistic coach.
Shadow Chakra: The Sacral Chakra

Image by mbg Creative x CoffeeAndMilk / iStock

The chakras are like invisible organs of the subtle, or energetic, body. Just as each organ in the physical body has a physiological purpose, each chakra in the subtle body has a spiritual function. Understanding the unique purpose of each chakra is an invaluable tool for holistic healing. The spiritual information contained within the chakras is the thread of connectivity between the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual quadrants of ourselves. When we heal the chakras, it can profoundly affect our health and lives, as well as prevent future illness and dysfunction in the body. Healing the invisible wounds of each chakra is a process of moving from that chakra's shadow state into its gift.

To live in the shadow frequency of a chakra is to be guided by the associated wound of that chakra. We make decisions from that wound, we relate to others from that wound, and in extreme cases, we become that wound. To heal, we must first become aware of the wound and then do the work to heal it. This propels us into the gift frequency, where we can truly become our best selves. Once you've worked through the shadow of your root chakra, you can move on to the second chakra, the sacral.

The shadow of the sacral chakra is denial.

This is a tricky wound to work with because to be in denial is also to be unaware that you are in denial. It's a blind spot. What we are unable to see is that our lives are a series of reactions driven by our feelings. We want more of the things that feel good (think joy, pleasure, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin) and less of the things that feel bad (think anxiety, sadness, cortisol, and adrenaline). All of our actions in life are propelled by the desire for pleasure and avoidance of pain. It is a vicious cycle of craving and aversion. This is more about emotion than sensation, but either way, our tolerance for discomfort is minimal. The wound of denial is the seed of addiction, relationship conflicts, disappointed love, people-pleasing behavior, and a slew of unhealthy habits. 

Denial arises in childhood as the emotion body develops. When we're young, feelings can be intense, and minutes can feel like an eternity—so we're that much more reactive. We instinctively want to feel good, so we adapt our behaviors to create more dopamine hits and less discomfort. But even the pleasurable feelings are impermanent, so we get stuck in a cycle that never ends. We're either running away from discomfort or trying to create more pleasure. Ultimately every important decision in our lives is driven by this until we become aware of it. Healing this wound is about learning to sit with discomfort. It's about not reacting to pain or sadness but letting the feelings move through us with ease. It's about cultivating equanimity and understanding that this, too, shall pass.

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Physical signs of the sacral chakra's shadow.

In my private practice, this is the most common wound I see. Sacral energy is about connection and partnership, so this wound drives us to connect regardless of the cost. This is when we settle for a romantic partner that isn't the right match because being single feels too lonely or uncomfortable. Some of us spend hours swiping on dating apps we despise because we're too anxious to wait for the serendipitous encounter we've always dreamed of. We may stay in a relationship with someone we no longer love because we cannot bear to break their heart. Or perhaps we agree to a business collaboration that isn't aligned with our future goals because we don't want to disappoint the other party. This is what it looks like to live in the shadow of the sacral chakra. Every action is an attempt to avoid or escape discomfort. Every action is a reaction. To heal the wound of denial we must move from reaction to stillness.

The gift of the sacral chakra is stillness.

When we become still, we are no longer controlled by fleeting feelings and sensations. In the stillness, energy is freed up to create with intention. Whether we are creating babies, products, businesses, or movements, our creativity is meant for nothing less than a masterpiece. Stillness also allows us to wait for the right partners to enter our lives. This is where we meet our soul mates—the people who can best support us in fulfilling our purpose. Here are three exercises to support sacral chakra healing: 

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 1. Awareness first.

It's time to get really real with yourself and acknowledge how you are reacting instead of acting in your relationships. Scan your relationships and identify all the ways you are people-pleasing, settling, walking on eggshells, or modifying your behavior to protect others from their own pain and disappointment. The first step is to become aware. Then you can begin to change. 

2. Practice stillness. 

Train yourself to sit with discomfort by sitting still for a prolonged period of time. Sit in meditation, set your timer for 30 minutes, and challenge yourself not to move at all. Acknowledge the urge to scratch an itch, change position, or move a limb that has fallen asleep, but do not react. Stay still and observe the sensation change over time. When you cultivate stillness on the physical plane, it will affect everything.

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3. Sat Kriya.

This kundalini kriya is one of the best exercises to work with sacral energy. Begin by sitting in rock pose (on your knees). Interlace all the fingers except for the index fingers. For sacral work, I recommend crossing the left thumb over the right. Keep the spine straight, and reach the arms straight up to the sky framing the ears. Chant "Sat Naam" at a steady rhythm. On the "Sat," pull the navel in. On the "Naam," relax the belly. Keep your eyes closed, and focus your attention on the point between the eyebrows.

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