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How To Know When To Let Go Of Your Relationship & Move On

Last updated on July 31, 2020

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice, but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on? Knowing when to let go is key to ensuring we don't stay in toxic relationships or situations that no longer serve us.

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Why knowing when to let go is so hard.

We often hold onto what no longer works.

I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he's hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe. But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we're choosing to stay.

Romantic relationships, jobs, and even places we live have an expiration date. But sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.

Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on, and manipulate our situations, trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration, and ginormous guilt and blame.

Signs that it's time to let go.

To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.

  1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.
  2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.
  3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.
  4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.
  5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.
  6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.
  7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.
  8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.
  9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.
  10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.
  11. When you have lost your passion and joy.
  12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.
  13. When you stop having fun.
  14. When you fear this is the best it will be.
  15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.
  16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.
  17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.
  18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.
  19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.
  20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.
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This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to let go and take a step forward. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.

If it's a relationship you're thinking about leaving, here's more specific signs you should break up and how to break up with someone you love.

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Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser

Shannon Kaiser is the best-selling author of 5 books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment including The Self-Love Experiment and Adventures for Your Soul, Joy Seeker, and Unshakable Inner Peace Oracle card deck, and the forthcoming book Return to You. She has a B.A. in journalism and communications from the University of Oregon. As an international life coach, speaker, and retreat leader, she helps people awaken and align with their true selves so they can live their highest potential.

She's been named top 100 Women to Watch in wellness by mindbodygreen, alongside Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kris Carr and Gabriel Bernstein, and was listed as of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness by Chicken Soup for The Women's Soul. She's been named one of Entrepreneurs Must-Follow Instagram Accounts for Inspiration and Top Facebook Accounts for Daily Motivation by Mind Body Green.

Her website Playwiththeworld.com has been names top 75 Personal development websites and top 100 self-help websites by the institute for the Psychology of Eating. She's an international life coach and author mentor, and a full time world traveler with a home base in Portland, Oregon with her best friend, her Golden Retriever Chance, who she flew to China to Rescue.

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