Prostate milking, also known as prostate massage, is a pleasurable way to stimulate a person's prostate until the release of a thin fluid from the penis. This can be practiced for sexual or health-related reasons. Whether you have a prostate yourself or you're looking for insight into how to please a partner, here are the need-to-knows.
What is the prostate?
The prostate is a gland that's part of the reproductive system in people with penises, located between the penis and the bladder. According to urologist and men's sexual health specialist Paul Turek, M.D., the organ is about the size of a walnut and wraps around the urethra, the tube through which urine travels. "Its sole purpose is to secrete an enzyme called prostate-specific antigen, which liquefies the semen after ejaculation. This is important for semen to be normally fertile," he explains.
What is prostate milking, and how does it work?
"Prostate milking is the activity of stimulating the prostate gland by applying direct pressure against it with a finger through the rectum," says Megan Harrison, LMFT, founder of Couples Candy, a sex and relationship advice hub. "It feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue on the front wall of the rectal lining. 'Milking' the prostate refers to the act of massaging the prostate until prostate fluid comes out [of the penis]. You can also use sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, and plugs to [stimulate the prostate]."
Anyone with a prostate who is looking to experience new and pleasurable sensations could benefit from prostate milking. "In addition to achieving orgasm, there are several possible health benefits of prostate milking," Harrison says. "Prostate massage can ease the symptoms of painful ejaculation as it eases fluid blockages in the reproductive system. Prostate massage is also believed to treat erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow. After all, strong erections are a result of good blood flow!"
There is also some limited evidence that prostate milking can relieve the symptoms of chronic prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate). So if you're looking to feel good and possibly boost your health at the same time, it could be time to start exploring this miraculous little walnut.
Why a prostate orgasm is unique.
There are different types of orgasms, and each of them can feel totally unique. While most people with penises are used to reaching orgasm through the stimulation of their dicks, they're usually not so acquainted with the sensation of coming thanks to internal stimulation.
"The prostate-induced orgasm hits differently because it is initiated from inside the body. It feels like you're being jacked off from the inside," explains sexologist Goody Howard, MSW, MPH.
The feeling of a prostate orgasm can be described as having more depth and intensity than a regular orgasm. "It's a slow trip back to reality from such a rich climax," says Jason, a 50-year-old man, about his experience of prostate orgasms.
Especially for straight men who might never have explored the sexual possibilities of their asses, a prostate orgasm can give new and exciting feelings that reveal the sexual opportunities that lie within our bodies.
Tips & techniques:
Use a glove.
Before inserting a finger into the rectum and searching for your (or your partner's) prostate, slip on a disposable latex glove (or vinyl if you're allergic to latex). The glove not only acts as a physical barrier to prevent bacteria from the hands being introduced into the rectal passage, but its smooth exterior will make the process easier by allowing the finger to glide inside. A glove also prevents your fingernails from accidentally tearing the delicate skin of the rectum.
An absolutely essential part of prostate milking is lubricant. The anal passage is not capable of making its own lubrication, and therefore you need to give nature a helping hand. Choose a silicone-based lube specially formulated for anal sex, as these will be thicker and longer-lasting.
Stimulate the penis.
In order to intensify the sensations and relax the rectum, try jerking off at the same time as you or your partner explore your prostate. This can also increase the chances that you'll reach orgasm. If you like the idea of having a "pure" prostate orgasm, but it feels too hard, you can stimulate your penis and prostate at the same time until you're very close to climaxing. At this point, stop touching your penis and focus purely on the prostate until you tip over the edge.
Enlist a partner.
If you've never explored your own prostate before, it might feel easier to have the help of a partner as you get your bearings. Incorporating prostate massage into your sex life can be a fun way to bring the two of you together. The feeling of being touched from the inside by someone you trust is extremely intimate.
Use a sex toy.
If you feel a little squeamish about putting your finger inside of yourself, you can enlist the help of a curved dildo to help reach your prostate. Look out for dildos that are listed as being formed to hit "the P-spot." You can also get dildos that vibrate; this can add an extra layer of intensity to your prostate explorations. (Not sure where to start? Check out our explainer on sex toys.)
Take a deep breath.
If you're not used to exploring your ass, it can feel a little intimidating at first. Make sure that you're in a calm setting, with plenty of time set aside. Dim the lights, take lots of deep breaths in through your nose and out of your mouth, and try not to tense up as you begin to explore. While you might be tempted to have a few drinks to facilitate the process, it's much better to focus on your breathing since if you're drunk you might accidentally hurt yourself.
Positions to try:
"Bent over on hands and knees" is one of the easiest and comfiest positions for prostate milking, advises Anthony Puopolo, M.D., of RexMD. Get into position by kneeling on all fours with your ass facing your partner. They can then easily slide into you.
Over the lap
If you're into the idea of feeling a little dominated while your partner milks your prostate, you can opt to lie across their lap with your ass over their thighs and your stomach facing down. This way, your partner can easily penetrate you and perhaps also offer some light spanks at the same time.
Lying on the stomach
You can keep it simple by just lying on your stomach on the bed with your ass in the air. This might be a good beginner position since it doesn't require you to hold your body up in any way, so you can focus completely on the sensations generated by the massage.
"The person being milked is to be standing, and the milker is to be seated or on their knees in front of them. This allows easy access and direct stimulation," suggests Howard.
"You can also try milking with the receiver on their back with their feet flat and their knees up. This position works well if you want to add breath play and sex toys to the external genitals for more layered pleasure," says Howard.
The bottom line.
Kesiena Boom, M.S., is a sociologist, writer, and poet. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of Manchester and a master’s degree in Gender Studies from Lund University. Her work has been featured at Slate, Buzzfeed, Vice, Autostraddle, and elsewhere. Her writing focuses on sex, pleasure, queer experience and community, feminist theory and practice, and race and anti-racism.