A Calmer Evening Routine Doesn't Have To Be Anything Fancy & Makes A Big Impact

Here in New England, we’re reveling in the last few weeks of glorious summer weather before school starts back up. My daughter has been loving her camp and all the time outside, so much so that she’s asked to stay there instead of going back to school (sorry, lady, no deal). But I can’t blame her, as I feel like I’m trying to get every ounce of fun into these precious sunlight hours, too.

I feel like there were weeks on end where I’d get done work, my daughter would get done camp, and we’d head out to some body of water, meet friends at a restaurant, or do any number of activities until dark. Now, I’m realizing we both need more afternoon and evening time at home, unplanned.

I’ve noticed my daughter is very invested in her independent play when we do land at home, perhaps because she’s around other kids all day long and needs some introverted time as much as us adults after a day of meetings. 

Going from camp or a jam-packed weekend to a calm night can be like slamming on the brakes when you’re speeding. It doesn’t feel great and there could be some carnage (and by carnage I mean bedtime meltdowns—if you know you know). We’re also a two-household family, so transitioning my daughter back from her dads in the evening can add an extra layer of chaotic energy.

I’ve found that adding some calm creativity to the mix offers us both a helpful transition period to wind down with, without trying to force an abrupt stop. I recently threw a big blanket over the dining table, added a couple pillows underneath, and grabbed a flashlight for us to read books with. This simple novelty felt fun for us both without taking a lot of effort, and we went on to a cooperative bedtime. 

Whether we like it or not, school will be starting, so it feels best to lean in and start processing what that will be like. It has felt helpful to get books out of the library for our nightly reads and talk about what kinds of reading activities she’ll have in the coming year. I like to ask if she’s excited or nervous about anything when she thinks of the new year ahead and give it space to breathe. I’ve also brought up how mornings will be on a different timeline with less flexibility than arriving at camp. 

We're lucky to live close to school, so when we have a little time before or after dinner some days we'll bike over and play on the playground. My daughter loves it and it definitely builds a positive association with going back. Even if you can't walk, it might be worth making a few visits whenever your schedule is open and it feels low-stress.

I’ll own that as the adult in our household, I know full-well that our bedtime routine has gotten knocked back a decent amount of time throughout the summer. Rather than verbalize the goal of an earlier bedtime to her (rookie mistake!), I’m keeping that one to myself and trying to slowly creep back towards our normal schedule over the next several weeks.