We’re tired. We’re busy. We’re constantly dealing with competing pressures. It can be challenging to find the time and stimulate the mood for sex and intimacy in your romantic relationship sometimes, and that can lead to feeling increasingly disconnected from each other over time. Often couples don’t talk about the problem, preferring to tell themselves, "It'll sort itself out. We're just going through a dry spell."
That may be the case; however, a caution: Distance has a way of increasing in small—almost imperceptible—ways if we don’t acknowledge the changes we’re going through and the pressures we’re under and face them as a team. When we don’t talk about things, we tend to start making assumptions about each other and we risk creating more distance due to the buildup of misunderstandings.
As a therapist who works with couples, one of the questions I’m most frequently asked is, "What can we do to get ‘the spark’ back when sex is not as exciting as it used to be, or we’re just not motivated to make it happen?" Here are the six tips I give every couple who's struggling in this area: