Many Couples Moved In Together For Quarantine — What Happens Next?

Moving in with your partner is typically a long, carefully thought-out decision. But when shelter-in-place orders were mandated, many couples threw caution to the wind and decided living together was better than spending an unknown amount of time apart.

Inevitably, every couple and even every individual in this situation will have to decide the answer to this question themselves. There's no right answer that will apply to everyone, says relationship therapist Linda Carroll, M.S., LMFT. Deciding to continue living together may be the right decision for some, whereas deciding to go back to living separately might be the right decision for others.

Importantly, whichever option you decide is not a reflection of the strength of your relationship. Your relationship may be strong and healthy, but you still want to take things slowly and have time to live apart again before fully committing to cohabitation in a more permanent way.

Whether your relationship evolved for better or worse throughout quarantine, you have to be willing to let it go. That doesn't mean breaking up, mind you. It just means you have to relinquish the linear, idealistic version of your relationship and allow it to stretch and take new forms.

At the end of the day, you can't force someone to live with you if they don't want to. If one of you has an instinct to seek space and feels held back, it will eventually lead to resentment. Carroll says the issue will play out in several scenarios—I love you more than you love me; you don't really want to be here; you're not committed.

If one person feels strongly about going back to living separately, go with it. This doesn't mean you need to break up or that your relationship is taking a step backward. Your relationship has been affected by a completely unprecedented global crisis, so accept that your relationship will not move in the typical trajectory you'd usually expect.

"For some people, they're going to get closer. For other people, they're going to feel like this is not the right relationship," Carroll says. "Know that you have been deeply affected by seen and unseen stress."