When I was in college, I traveled to Nepal to study at a Tibetan Buddhist monastery. After many years of battling with my body, I decided to take a break from constantly stressing out about food and exercise. It was the Third World, with lepers and poverty everywhere I looked, so somehow trying to manifest visible abs seemed a bit trivial.

During the day I studied Buddhist philosophy and history taught by monks, and by night I ate my weight in carbs. Garlic naan, white rice, probably hundreds of dumplings ...

I even ate a chocolate croissant from a local bakery every single day and didn't exercise once. I didn't care, but before I returned home I called my mom and sullenly warned her about my undoubted extra pounds. "I've gained a lot of weight so please don't say anything," I told her.

The difference was not just in the quality of the food but in the quality of life.
 

After a 36-hour journey home, I found her at the airport and she looked at me in confusion and said, "You are skin and bones!" I stepped on the scale later that day and found that I had lost nearly 20 pounds over the course of two months. Two months of not denying myself anything, eating to my heart's content, and not slaving away on a treadmill. I was in shock.

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So what happened?

At the time I gave credit to the quality of food I was eating. Better ingredients, more whole foods, less processed stuff. But now, after a decade of studying nutrition and the emotional relationship around food, I see it was much more than that. The difference was not just in the quality of the food but in the quality of life.

Life, and I with it, moved slowly there. I meditated daily. When I ate, I ate. I didn't scroll through my Instagram feed while shoveling lunch down my throat. I didn't punish myself with exercise or restrict my food intake. I relaxed; I allowed.

Why this made such a difference was that my body had shifted out of the chronic stress response that it had endured, very typical for a college kid with sleepless nights cramming for organic chemistry exams. When the body is exposed to this constant level of stress, stress hormones increase, metabolism decreases, cravings increase, and fat storage increases.

When the stress stopped, my body was able to reset and once again find its natural weight.

Here are the four most important tools for healthy, sustainable, and enjoyable weight loss:

1. Stop dieting.

In a recent study of former contestants on The Biggest Loser, all but one gained their weight back, often ending up heavier than they started. This wasn't because they gave up and immediately started eating more than they needed. Their metabolisms were majorly damaged by the extreme dieting. About 99 percent of the time, dieting is not sustainable. Stop doing it!

2. Slow down with food.

Eating too quickly keeps us from hearing satiety signals from the brain and causes overeating. And not only that, it is a lot harder to actually taste and enjoy your food when you're inhaling it. Slow down and savor!

3. De-stress.

This is the most devastating problem that is plaguing our country. Stress is a normal part of life, but we are chronically stressed. This means that instead of our stress levels rising and falling, they don't fall. Ever. In order to not only set ourselves up for success with a healthy weight but also prevent many stress-induced diseases, we have to provide space for those stress levels to fall. There are many ways to do this, and it is important to find what works for you. Some options are journaling, coloring, breathwork, and meditation. My favorite apps for those new to meditation are Headspace and Buddhify.

4. Add pleasure

When the body experiences pleasure, it shuts off the stress response and shifts into relaxation, which is exactly what we want! Adding more pleasure to your life each day will help you de-stress and also set you up for easy weight loss. I have my clients make a list of non-food-related sources of pleasure, whether that is taking their dog for a walk down their favorite street, getting a pedicure, or reading a good book. The options are endless, so get brainstorming!

That's how to eat croissants and still lose weight. Is it still important to eat your veggies and other nutrient-dense foods? Yes! But by following these tips, making changes to your diet will be more sustainable and allow you to create balance in your life.


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