10 Ways To Stop Feeling Like You Need To Be In Control All The Time
Many of us hold onto control for dear life. We attach ourselves to outcomes, push for things to happen the way we want them to go, and try to run the show.
The reality is that things go much more smoothly when we allow them to happen instead of making them happen.
When we're able to trust that we are OK no matter the circumstances, we open ourselves up to possibilities. These are possibilities that weren’t there when we attached ourselves to what we deemed was the “right” path. The path we so desperately want to be on often isn't the most valuable or productive one.
Letting go of control means more joy, freedom, peace, connection and support.
So here are 10 ways to let go of control and embrace the art of surrender:
1. Use imagery.
When you notice yourself in the control mindset, imagine trying to climb the steepest mountain there is. Think about the amount of energy, time and head space that's consumed by trying to climb this mountain. This is control. Embrace the freedom that comes with letting go and not having the need to climb this mountain.
2. Write down a fear list.
Control is rooted in fear. We try to control things because we are scared about what might happen if we don’t. Remember that fear is an illusion. It's false evidence appearing real. What are you really afraid of?
3. Write down what presence means to you.
Presence conquers all. With presence, you are able to embrace gratitude. By embracing gratitude, there is trust and faith that you will be taken care of. This triumphs fear.
4. Ground yourself.
You're living in the future with the control mindset. You're already attaching yourself to expectations and setting yourself up for disappointment. So focus on grounding yourself. Maybe this means taking a walk in nature, calling a friend, or getting out of your home or office.
5. Embrace trust.
Trust means belief. And belief means you honor and respect yourself. This is where your self-worth comes in and you can let go of the need to control.
6. Use affirmations.
Affirmations are helpful. Practice saying these in front of the mirror:
I trust that everything will happen as it is intended to.
I honor and love myself.
There is no need to control; I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given so far.
7. Perform "esteemable" acts.
It's by performing "esteemable" acts that we gain self-esteem. Focus on doing these acts to combat the need to control. Maybe it means cleaning your home, organizing things that need to be organized, reaching out to a loved one, or journaling.
8. Reach out for support.
We weren't put here to be or feel alone. The more we feel as if we're stuck in a vacuum, the more the need to control takes over. So reach out to someone you value and trust, and talk about how you’re feeling.
9. Internalize the notion that you're not alone.
This ties into asking for support. You are not alone. Trust and accept this and practice saying it to yourself. There are eight billion other people in the world.
10. Make a freedom list.
Freedom means surrendering. It means you're at peace with yourself and have trust.
What does freedom mean to you? Write down a list, and remember the need to control minimizes everything on this list.