"Love is the answer; but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." -- Woody Allen
Excellent, off-the-charts sex and actual LOVE are very different things, though when combined in one experience, they create the coolest "soul mate" situations in the world. Love is something a bit beyond pure quantification for today’s conversation. Sex, however, is something we can chat about with candor. We know when its good and when its bad.
Most of my single feng shui clients tell me they are looking for love. Occasionally, though, I get a request purely for feng shui to create better sex. (This is Los Angeles, are you terribly surprised?!) Where feng shui is concerned, is it just two nightstands or a lack of clutter under a bed that will increase the libido? Will lighting candles be enough to "set a fire" in the bedroom? Is it enough to say that pink sheets = romance? Nope. None of these "tips" really strike at the core of sex and the physical connection that it implies; they are all supportive of the cause, but they are incomplete and more passive than active.
As I set off to poke around in the history of sex and society, I found myself staring at an 1883 translation of the human sexuality classic from India, the Kama Sutra. One of the opening chapters -- Chapter 4 to be exact -- is devoted to setting a home for "receiving women" (aka: "sex" in ancient lingo). After properly setting up the home with lutes in position, garlands of flowers strategically positioned, a pillow on each side of the bed (hmm?!)… after taking the afternoon nap, teaching parrots to talk (I am not making this up!), anointing the body with oils and, at times, bathing… we are finally ready to get down to action.
The Kama Sutra, which is quoted endlessly by modern sex bibles, films, and Cosmopolitan magazine, emphasized the importance of ritual in setting the stage in preparation for a higher passion quotient. While variety is amazing in the bedroom, a practiced set of rituals, performed much like daily exercise, can affect how you flow with sex in your life.