Your Sex Life Is Missing These 4 Essential Oil Blends

Photo: Daring Wanderer

Our sex lives and libido can be tricky topics, as society continues to insinuate that we should be supercharged and ready to get it on at any given moment. Many of us hide in the shadows and avoid the situation altogether since things aren't exactly, well, happening as quickly or in the way we think they should. We may be fantasizing about losing ourselves in the throes of passion without any forethought, but let me be the first to say that for most of us, it just doesn't work like that.

It can be a bit discouraging to realize that what we imagine is far from the reality we'll be experiencing. But don't let it get you down! Having ups and downs in your libido is, after all, just part of being human. Plus, there are a bunch of ways to support your libido naturally by addressing hormonal imbalances of various types. And as a functional medicine expert who specializes in hormone health, I’m here to tell you that you can reclaim your sexy by incorporating some simple lifestyle changes with the aid of aromatherapy. You can even have fun doing it!

Stress is killing your libido; here's what to do.

Stress management is the first step in this process, because stress wreaks havoc on our bodies, sending us into a perpetual state of fight or flight. When this happens, our bodies naturally shut down our reproductive system, redirecting blood flow to our extremities to get us out of dangerous situations. When stress is constant and you convince yourself that stress is your fuel, getting that sexy back just isn’t going to happen until you chill and find the calm that your body and mind so desperately need. Some of my favorite essential oils to reduce stress—while simultaneously boosting libido with aphrodisiac magic—are ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata), geranium (Pelargonium graveoloens), and jasmine (Jasminum grandiflorium). Diffusing any of these individually will help to set the mood by relaxing pent-up and anxious emotions while charging intimate energy.

One of my favorite tricks is to add 10 to 15 drops to a 2-ounce spray bottle of water and spritz your bedding or lingerie so it mingles with your natural pheromones. Adding essential oils to an Epsom salt bath and taking a relaxing soak either solo or with your partner will help you to unwind and get present in the moment. Follow that up with an intimate massage by incorporating a sensual essential oil massage blend in 1 teaspoon of carrier oil, and you’ve got the perfect foreplay for an exciting evening. And don’t forget the calming power of lavender (Lavandula angustifolia); combine any of these with lavender when stress levels run high for extra anti-stress support.

1. Romantic Flower Spritz

Ingredients

  • 6 drops sandalwood essential oil
  • 4 drops ylang-ylang essential oil
  • 3 drops geranium essential oil
  • 2 drops neroli essential oil
  • 2 ounces distilled water

Method

  1. Add essential oils to a 2-ounce glass spray bottle and fill with water.
  2. Shake to blend before each use, and spritz on pillows, comforters, and in the air before bed to promote intimacy and sensuality.
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We all build up emotional walls; here's how to knock them down.

Regardless of your stress quotient, our emotional situation can often cause inhibitions when it comes to intimacy. Fear associated with how we look, past experiences, ability, or any number of factors can prevent our minds (and therefore our bodies) from getting into the mood. While many emotional factors can be alleviated with essential oils, emotional distress associated with abuse can be a serious issue, and you should always seek professional counsel and advice in these situations. For those who simply need to release their mental blocks to get into the mood, essential oils can be the bridge that initiates feelings of desire. To let down that emotional guard, I love diffusing neroli (Citrus aurantium) or bergamot (Citrus bergamia) and pairing them with lavender or ylang-ylang or a calming and sensual sensation. Neroli demonstrated its ability to help women to balance hormones as well as calm the mind and body while bergamot proves very effective in reducing anxiety and inhibition.

2. Mood-Boosting Diffuser Blend

Ingredients

  • 2 drops neroli essential oil
  • 2 drops lavender essential oil
  • 1 drop sandalwood essential oil
  • 1 drop ylang-ylang essential oil
  • 1 drop jasmine essential oil

Method

  • Add essential oils to at-home diffuser and diffuse during the day or evening.
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Related Class

Hormones can get out of whack; herbs can help.

Clary sage (Salvia sclarea) will always be my go-to essential oil for getting hormones back in check. You can even use it at particular times during the month to ease menstrual difficulties by using it for an abdominal massage. When it comes to libido, just know that balancing hormones relies on a lot more than just one essential oil. Even if you eat well, exercise, and practice self-care, it still might not be enough to regulate your hormones if stress continues to dominate your world. That said, clary sage is a girl’s best friend. While helping to balance estrogen and progesterone, it also has the ability to decrease cortisol levels in the body, the major hormonal player in libido-zapping stress. Simply inhaling clary sage will lower cortisol levels and help in the regulation of those feminine reproductive hormones. To increase the power of clary sage, pair it with other calming and aphrodisiacal oils like geranium and jasmine for arousal, and put it in a roller-ball bottle for application throughout the day to sustain hormonal balance.

3. Hormone Synergy Blend

Ingredients

  • 10 drops clary sage essential oil
  • 8 drops lavender essential oil
  • 8 drops geranium essential oil
  • 4 drops bergamot essential oil
  • 4 drops ylang-ylang essential oil
  • Fractionated coconut oil or sweet almond oil

Method

  1. In a 10-milliliter glass roller-ball bottle, place the number of drops per recipe and fill to the top with your choice of carrier oil.
  2. Roll the blend over your pulse points (neck, ankles, and wrists) two to three times per day to increase libido and create hormonal synergy.
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Testosterone is important for men AND women; support it in every way you can.

Don’t stop reading, girl! Testosterone is an important hormonal player in your body as well, directly influencing libido. Keeping your estrogen and progesterone balanced will help the body in its regulation of testosterone. But the men definitely need to ensure that their testosterone quotient falls within normal levels in order to fully experience arousal. Men tend to be drawn to woody, musky scents, so aromas like sandalwood (Santalum album) and cinnamon (Cinnamomum zeylanicum) that are beneficial to both sexes would be the best choice for increasing libido. In addition to having been used for centuries as an aphrodisiac, promising studies have shown cinnamon to be effective in improving sperm motility and quality. The deep, warm scents of both of these essential oils will help set the mood and, when used as a sensual massage oil, the warming sensation of cinnamon will help you relax and wind down.

4. Aphrodisiac Massage Oil

Ingredients

  • 2 drops sandalwood essential oil
  • 2 drops neroli essential oil
  • 2 drops cinnamon essential oil
  • 6 drops jojoba, sweet almond, or fractionated coconut oil
  • bottle of massage oil

Method

  • Drop essential oils into massage oil. Massage into skin!

The benefits of sex keep our bodies running and our lives full of excitement. Sex reduces stress and helps us get more restful sleep. It boosts vitality, burns calories, and fights the aging process. Most importantly, it connects you to your partner in the most intimate way possible. Don’t be afraid to discuss your libido with your partner so that you both understand each other’s wants, needs, and challenges. Open communication makes for a more sensual and intimate experience for both of you. Using essential oils to amplify the experience will intensify and illuminate what a joy sex can truly be.

More questions about essential oils? Here's what an expert says about ingesting them.

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