Should We Sleep In The Same Room? 5 Couples On Dealing With Judgy Parents Over The Holidays

This isn't something that lends itself to clear-cut advice—every family's dynamics and values are different—but in case you're wondering how other people handle this tricky part of holiday gatherings, we asked real-life couples to share how they've navigated the sleeping arrangements among judgy family members. Here's what they told us.

"My partner's family has no issue with us sharing a room, but my parents won't allow it unless we're married. Now, whenever we visit them, we just don't stay at their house. We find an Airbnb or stay with my sister instead." —Woman from Washington, D.C.

"We'd been dating for two months before the situation came up when I visited his parents' house, where his mom had set up the guest room for us. There wasn't really much of a conversation on either side—we just rolled with what the parents wanted." —Woman from Atlanta, Georgia

"We were long distance pre-COVID, and he actually lived in the same town as my parents. So whenever I'd visit around the holidays, I'd stay with my parents and he'd stay at his place—which we didn't love, but since I saw my parents so rarely, I felt guilty about bringing it up, and we just dealt with it." —Woman from Grand Rapids, Michigan

"My partner and I are high school sweethearts, so our parents' homes are five minutes apart. Usually we've stayed with our families when we drop by, but now we have a dog that obviously requires more effort and coordination—so we're still trying to figure this out. We've been together for eight years and do share a bed at home (we've lived together for over a year), but we haven't had a formal conversation about sharing when at our parents in years. It was more just unsaid. Our plan is to go with our parents' preferences still for this year. We're not engaged or married, so I think we'll try to readdress it probably by next holiday season." —Woman from Queens, New York

So really, it seems like the most popular way to switch to sleeping together is for everyone to just...avoid the conversation until someone cracks? For what it's worth, a small study suggests that sleeping with a partner can actually improve your sleep—maybe mention that if you're angling for a co-sleeping arrangement this year.