Feel Like You’re Overreacting? It’s Your Nervous System Doing This
Everyone knows the feeling of an overreaction. You get a comment from your boss, or misread tone in your partner's text, and all of a sudden your chest is tight and your thoughts are spiraling. And you can't seem to stop it.
There's a name for this: emotional flooding. On a recent of episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, psychologist Nicole LePera, Ph.D., explains why these overreactions don't mean you have a character flaw. It's your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do.
What is emotional flooding
Emotional flooding is what happens when we have an oversized reaction to our circumstances. When your experience emotional flooding, you might feel overwhelm, a sense of urgency about how you need to respond, and a loss of control over behavioral patterns. In the brain, this often looks like very "black and white" or "all or nothing" thinking, LePera says.
You might blame yourself for being dramatic or too sensitive when you feel this way, but it's important to remember that this is a real, physiological response.
"We are overwhelmed with neurotransmitters, hormones, and a nervous system that's now locked into fight or flight," LePera says about these moments. In other words, even if the situation logically doesn't seem like a big deal, your body is experiencing it as one.
Signs you're emotionally flooding
Not sure if what you're experiencing counts as emotional flooding? Here are the key markers LePera identifies:
- Your reaction feels way bigger than the situation. There's an "oversized-ness" to your response that doesn't match what's actually happening.
- The situation feels emotionally urgent. Your reaction feels like "what we absolutely need to do in the moment. There's no choice to do anything else," according to LePera.
- Black-and-white thinking takes over. You're catastrophizing, assuming the worst, or seeing no middle ground.
- You can't seem to choose a different response. Despite knowing you're overreacting, you feel powerless to stop it.
It's also important to note that emotional flooding doesn't look like an explosion for everyone. Some people experience an inability to act, advocate for themselves, or remove themselves from an unsafe situation. Under-reactions are their own version of emotional flooding.
Why this happens
If you've ever wondered why you react this way when you know better, LePera has an answer. These patterns often trace back to childhood.
"What's happening in the body is we are flooded by emotions from an earlier time, that limit our choices in response," she explained.
Many of our emotional reactions developed as protective adaptations, responses that made sense in an unpredictable childhood environment but no longer serve us.
What to do when you're emotionally flooding
LePera outlines a simple strategy to implement in moments overwhelm.
1. Pause before you react. When you notice yourself going into a familiar reaction pattern, resist the urge to act immediately. "We want to pause before we instinctually react in the same way we always have," LePera says.
2. Drop into your body. Shift your attention to physical sensations. LePera suggests asking yourself: "What sensations are happening? How is my breathing? What is my heart doing? How are my muscles? Are they tense? Are they at ease?"
3. Ask yourself what you need. The goal is to get to a place where you can think clearly and intentionally choose your response, rather than reacting on autopilot.
The takeaway
Emotional flooding isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's your nervous system doing what it learned to do a long time ago. The path forward is building the awareness to catch yourself, the tools to calm your nervous system, and the patience to practice a new response.