Feeling Overwhelmed? This 63-Second Pause Can Help You Stay Calm
What if taking just 63 seconds could transform how you handle life's most triggering moments? According to neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, Ph.D., this brief window of time holds the key to emotional mastery.
On the mindbodygreen podcast, Leaf shared her approach to self-regulation that's both scientifically sound and surprisingly simple to implement. As a communication pathologist, audiologist, and clinical neuroscientist specializing in psychoneurobiology, Leaf brings decades of research to her understanding of how our brains process emotions, and more importantly, how we can take control of them.
The science of self-regulation
Our brains operate in fascinating ways, especially when processing emotional triggers. Leaf's research reveals that our non-conscious mind works about 10 steps ahead of our conscious mind, creating a critical window for intervention.
"Our conscious mind works in batches of 10 seconds," explains Leaf. "Every six groups of 10 seconds, which is about 60 seconds, is a key timeframe in which we are able to start learning how to self-regulate".
This 63-second window represents a pivotal moment between stimulus and response. When someone says something that triggers you, perhaps a colleague makes an irritating comment during a meeting, your subconscious mind immediately absorbs this information.
But here's where opportunity emerges: you have about 63 seconds to catch yourself before your reaction solidifies into a pattern.
Leaf describes this as the difference between being reactive versus responsive. In our productivity-obsessed culture, we've become increasingly reactive, jumping to immediate responses without pausing to process. This approach turns what should be thoughtful interactions into knee-jerk reactions that often make situations worse.
The beauty of the 63-second technique is that it acknowledges human nature while providing a practical path forward. "It's okay not to be okay," Leaf emphasizes.
It's okay not to be okay.
The 63-second protocol
So, how exactly do you implement this 63-second intervention? Leaf breaks it down into a simple, replicable process:
Step 1: Honor what you're experiencing
The first critical step is acknowledging your emotional state without judgment. Notice the physical sensations in your body, the thoughts racing through your mind, and your instinctive behavioral urges. This isn't about suppression; it's about recognition.
Step 2: Implement calming techniques
Once you've acknowledged your emotional state, it's time to actively shift your physiology. Leaf suggests several approaches:
- Mindful breathing: Take deep breaths, but be intentional about your mindset as you breathe. "When you are angry and stimulated by anger... we often take a deep breath. It's actually a breath of anger," explains Leaf. Instead, "breathe in a calmer state".
- Visualization: Picture yourself responding calmly, or imagine a peaceful scene.
- Perspective shift: Ask yourself, "If I react this way, what will happen? Is there something valid in what they're saying?"
Leaf emphasizes that these small adjustments create profound neurophysiological changes: "It shifts the way that the oxygen moves through the body, calms down the neurophysiology, and changes how all the different neurochemicals and neurohormones [function]".
The ripple effect
While the 63-second technique provides immediate relief, its true power lies in the cumulative effect. Leaf suggests a two-part approach to lasting change:
- 63 seconds for immediate regulation
- 63 days for permanent pattern change
The immediate benefit is what Leaf calls "activating peace," a state where even though you don't have all the answers and may still feel irritated, you've created enough internal space to move forward constructively.
"It's absolutely huge. That's where peace comes," explains Leaf.
The payback for learning to self-regulate in the moment is huge.
The takeaway
In a world obsessed with quick fixes and biohacks, Leaf's 63-second technique offers something more substantial: a practical way to interrupt unhelpful patterns and consciously choose your response rather than being driven by reactivity. This isn't about never feeling triggered; it's about developing the capacity to navigate those triggers with wisdom and intentionality.
By practicing this brief intervention consistently, you're not just managing individual moments; you're rewiring your brain's default responses, creating more space between stimulus and response, and ultimately building a more resilient mental framework.