She Punches Like A Girl (And That's Exactly The Point)
Before Kendall Toole became one of Peloton's most beloved instructors, and before she left to launch her own fitness platform, Never Knocked Out, she was just a kid in Atlanta watching her dad work through hard days the only way he knew how: hitting a heavy bag in the basement.
She'd watch, fascinated. Sometimes she'd even slip on his gloves and throw a few tentative punches herself. But the message was clear, even if unspoken: this was what men did when they needed an outlet. Women? They were supposed to handle stress differently. Quietly. Internally.
It took until her USC days for Toole to realize that narrative was wrong. During this time, one of her professors noticed Toole was high-strung, carrying a lot of energy with nowhere to put it. "Come to my boxing gym," he told her. Not a suggestion—a prescription.
"The first time I hit that mitt and threw a cross, it cracked—this lightning pop kind of sound," Toole tells me. "I wasn't thinking. I wasn't in my head for the first time in a really long time. All that I felt converted into power. It was like alchemy."
Why women are trading soft for strong
We're witnessing a cultural shift. For years, wellness culture praised softness—slow mornings, gentle movement, aesthetics built around being small and delicate. But something's changing. Women are tired of shrinking, of swallowing frustration and tucking away ambition. They're discovering what Toole learned in that Santa Monica boxing gym: you can take everything you feel and channel it into something powerful.
The science backs this up. High-intensity activity activates the sympathetic nervous system1 in controlled bursts, then triggers parasympathetic recovery, essentially training your body to handle stress more effectively. Research shows that boxing improves emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and builds confidence in ways that go far beyond physical fitness. It's not about burning calories or achieving a certain aesthetic. It's about reclaiming power.
When I took my first boxing class at a gritty Venice gym a few weeks ago, Kendrick Lamar blasting through the speakers, I understood immediately what Toole was talking about. The class didn't feel cute or Instagram-ready. And in throwing those punches, I wasn't thinking about my to-do list or my inbox—I was fully present.
All that I felt converted into power. It was like alchemy.
How to start boxing (without feeling intimidated)
Walking into your first boxing class can be intimidating, especially for women who feel like beginners in a typically male-dominated space.
But that intimidation? It's based on a myth. "Boxing gyms are family," Toole tells me. "The good ones want you there.”
And there's something else most people don't realize: women are biomechanically built to be powerful strikers.
"There's a barrier to entry with women in boxing," she explains. "It doesn't feel like an inherently feminine place. But the thing that's great about women in boxing is that because women's center of gravity is lower—in our hips—we can throw really heavy punches. People say 'she punches like a girl' like it's an insult. But if she punches like a woman, using the full weight of her hips? Your lights are out."
When I walked into that Venice gym for my first class, I felt exactly that hesitation. But my friend, who'd been training for months, gave me the advice to "just learn the numbers before you go."
So on my way to class, I pulled up a YouTube tutorial. One, two, three. Jab, cross, hook. When the instructor started calling combinations, I wasn't lost anymore. I had a foothold, and that made all the difference.
Toole recommends the same gradual approach. Start with the basics before you set foot in a gym. Learn your stance. Understand your footwork. Know what each punch number means. Look for foundations or intro classes designed specifically for beginners.
And if walking into a gym still feels like too big a leap? Start at home with shadow boxing. It's you versus you in front of a mirror, building muscle memory and confidence. Low stakes, high reward.
Because women's center of gravity is lower—in our hips—we can throw really heavy punches.
The three moves every woman should master
You don’t need to spar, fight, or have any desire to step into a ring. These three foundational punches are enough to build confidence, coordination, and serious strength.
The jab
The jab is quick, sharp, and decisive. It’s the punch that teaches assertiveness.
How to do it:
- Start in your fight stance: dominant foot back, guard up.
- Extend your lead arm straight out, rotating your fist so the knuckles face down.
- Snap it back to your face just as quickly; this is your shield as much as your strike.
The cross
This is your power punch.
How to do it:
- From your stance, rotate through your back hip.
- Let your rear foot pivot as your hips and core drive the punch forward.
- Aim straight down the line; imagine hitting something right in front of you.
The hook
A hook is a semicircular punch that generates force from your hips and torso.
How to do it:
- Keep your elbow at shoulder height.
- Rotate your front hip inward as your fist travels horizontally toward an imaginary target.
- Think about leading the movement from your core, not your arm.
Ready to learn? Watch Toole teach the proper form for each strike.
Starting your boxing era
For women ready to start, here's your essential kit:
- Boxing gloves: For beginners, 12–14 oz gloves are ideal. They offer protection without feeling too heavy.
- Hand wraps: A non-negotiable for wrist support and injury prevention.
- A heavy bag or mitt set: If you're training at home, invest in a quality bag; if you're gym-bound, most facilities provide them
- Flexible, supportive shoes: Your ankles need stability, but you also need to move freely—look for cross-training shoes rather than running shoes
- Clothing that makes you feel like your alter ego: Kendall laughed when explaining that she often wears oversized band tees and shorts: “I’m not dressing cute—I’m dressing like a version of myself who hits hard.”
I’m not dressing cute—I’m dressing like a version of myself who hits hard.
Permission to be powerful
Boxing isn't about fighting others. It's about returning to yourself—to the parts you've been taught to quiet, diminish, or apologize for. It's about taking the frustration you've swallowed, the ambition you've downplayed, the anger you've been told isn't feminine, and channeling all of it into something undeniable.
The women booking out that Wednesday night class in Venice with me? We're not there to get "toned" or burn a certain number of calories. We're there because for 45 minutes, we get to be loud. Powerful. Uncontained.
There's no soft-girl aesthetic in boxing. There's sweat and exertion and the sound of gloves hitting leather. There's the moment when you finally land a clean hook and realize you've been holding back your whole life—not just in the gym, but everywhere.
Sometimes the strongest move isn't throwing a perfect punch. It's giving yourself permission to throw one at all.