Focus On These 4 Areas To Create Your Dream Life, From An Expert
Have you ever felt like your life is fine, but not quite right? Maybe things look good on the outside, but deep down, something feels off.
NYU professor and bestselling author Suzy Welch calls this the “B+ life”—comfortable and productive, but missing that deeper sense of alignment and meaning.
On the mindbodygreen podcast, Welch shared her insights on how to move from B+ to A+ living using her research-backed Becoming You framework. And at the heart of it? Understanding the four hidden barriers that often stop us from stepping into our most authentic, purpose-driven lives.
The 4 hidden barriers between you & the life you want
After working with thousands of students, professionals, and seekers, Welch identified four patterns that consistently show up when someone feels stuck, disconnected, or off-track. She calls them the four horsemen of values destruction.
Chances are, at least one is playing a role in your life right now.
1. Expectations
The pressure to live a certain way, whether it comes from parents, culture, or your own internalized beliefs, can quietly steer you away from what really matters to you. These kinds of “shoulds” are powerful, and they often drown out our inner voice.
2. Expedience
Sometimes, the easier path wins out. Even if you know what you want, making the leap can feel too hard, too inconvenient, or too risky. So you stay where it’s comfortable. As Welch puts it: “A lot of times we have a dream of a life, we have purpose, and it’s just easier not to do it.”
Expedience may keep you safe in the short term, but it rarely leads to fulfillment in the long run.
3. Events
Life happens: layoffs, illness, family needs, burnout. These curveballs often force us to make compromises, and over time, those compromises become habits. Welch warns that one of the biggest risks is letting temporary circumstances permanently disconnect us from our values.
You might not even notice it's happening—until one day, you wake up wondering how you drifted so far from yourself.
4. Economic security
Money matters, but it shouldn’t be the only factor driving your choices. Welch explains that even when financial security isn’t someone’s top value, it often overrides everything else. “We tend to make decisions based on cold, hard cash, even if cold, hard cash doesn’t matter to us.”
This explains why so many people with impressive careers and material success still feel a deep, nagging dissatisfaction.
How to start building the life of your dreams
Naming these barriers is step one. The next step is collecting data about who you really are, so you can build a life that reflects it.
Start with your values
Welch created The Values Bridge, a 100-question assessment that helps you identify your top 15 core values and shows how closely you're actually living them. That gap? Welch calls it your authenticity gap, and closing it is where true alignment begins.
Know your aptitudes
There are two types: cognitive aptitudes (how your brain is wired) and personality (how others experience you).
The challenge? Most of us base our sense of strengths on outdated narratives—ideas shaped by parents, teachers, or societal expectations.
To get a clearer picture, Welch recommends turning to the people who know you best and asking for honest, thoughtful feedback. It's often through their eyes that you gain the most accurate understanding of your true abilities.
Redefine what “secure” means
If finances are a big concern, think incrementally. Instead of quitting your job, test the waters—take classes, volunteer, or start a side project. This approach helps you explore new interests while maintaining financial stability.
Start small, but start
You don’t need to flip your life upside down overnight. Sometimes, a new perspective or a few micro-adjustments to your current role or routine can start to bring things into alignment. The key is paying attention to how closely your actions reflect what matters most to you.
The takeaway
Living your dream life isn’t about chasing happiness. It’s about aligning with your purpose. When you live according to your values, strengths, and interests, joy becomes a natural byproduct.
If you feel stuck, start by asking which of the four barriers (expectations, expedience, events, or economic security) might be in your way. The good news? Once you name it, you can begin to shift it.
Because the life you crave isn’t out of reach, it’s just on the other side of a few honest questions.