Bam. Just like that, my car was hit by another as I was making a left turn. My car started spinning out of control. Then it finally hit the divider.
I pushed away the airbag and jumped out of the car. I was scared, upset, and physically shaking. And yet, the very first thing I did was pull out my phone and call the karate teacher to let him know I was going to be late picking up my kids.
Then, a list of other worries started rushing into my head: Oh my god, the car insurance will go up. I won't be able to study for my boards tonight. I can't be late tomorrow morning, I have an important meeting.
It wasn't until later that night, after I had called the insurance company and dealt with the totaled car, that I realized I was experiencing something much more than just the normal stress of being a working mom.
My husband and I had just moved to a new city, with two children under the age of 5. I had a brand-new private practice and looming medical certification exams. I was constantly worried about being home with the kids while at the same time stressing about my career that was just taking off.
And my health was seeing the effects. I felt completely imbalanced. I was no longer energetic, as I used to be. For the past two years, I had been moody and cranky. I was gaining fat, despite exercising like crazy. I couldn't sleep at night for unclear reasons. I was constantly stressed.
At first, I figured these symptoms were due to the fact that I was in my mid-30s. But inside, I knew something much deeper had been going wrong for years.
I wasn't sure what to do, so I consulted some of my doctor friends and told them my symptoms. They had no answers for me. My physical exam and blood tests were fine. They told me I was "normal" and that there was nothing to worry about.
But I just knew something was off.