As women, we have been told by society (and even friends and family) that having the man chase after us is the way to go ... that, as women, being pursued is the way to get someone to fall in love with us.
I don’t agree with this. I don’t believe that we, as women, should have to wait around for someone to “chase after” us.
I believe in empowerment and I want people (both men and women) to feel like they are the creators of their lives and can act on their feelings.
I know it’s scary and it takes courage for us to reveal that we like or love someone romantically, but it's so important for you to say it and for the other person to hear it.
In fact, why wouldn’t somebody want to know that they are liked and appreciated by another person?
That is flattering. It is beautiful.
So I want to challenge you to let the person you have a crush on know that you have a crush on them. This may feel scary because:
1. It makes you vulnerable.
The thought of getting vulnerable might make you tense, but it's also one of the fastest steps to feeling relief and clarity in these situations. When you're finally speaking your truth and letting this person in on how you feel, an invisible weight lifts because you are no longer hiding what was going on for you inside.
You will feel lighter. Getting vulnerable opens the door, and invites others to get vulnerable with us. Your courage will allow the other person to let you know how they feel with ease.
2. You’re worried it will change your relationship.
What if the man or woman you’re divulging your feelings to doesn’t feel the same way about you? Can you go back to just having a crush from afar, or friends if you have been friends for a while already?
Once you've let this person in on what you’re thinking and feeling, the dynamics of your relationship may change if they don’t feel the same way about you. But, if you use the script I share in number five (below), you'll be able to do so in a way that allows you to get clarity, and still feel good about it so that you can now move on to someone who can reciprocate.
3. You don't need another stressor in your life.
Often we can be afraid to share our feelings because we’re not sure what’s going to happen, and we don’t need any more stressors in our lives. It can seem easier to just let things go the way they have been going, rather than rock the boat. But when you find the right person, they can be such a great partner in helping you through the stressors you have in your life that it's worth it to take this risk.
You don’t want to miss out on this person, and even if this isn't the right person, getting clarity will allow you to let it go and move on faster which will reduce stress overall.
4. You have been hurt in the past.
If you've ever felt this way about someone in the past, there's a chance that they didn’t want to get to know you better or start a relationship, and it left you feeling rejected. It's totally normal to not want to put yourself through that again. But by calling out the fear and letting them in on it, the fear is lessened and you can move forward (with or without this person) with confidence.
Once you realize that you have the power to express your feelings, you will see that your feelings begin to hold much less power over you.
5. You’re not sure what to say.
Getting this vulnerable is scary on its own, but on top that, how do you express yourself, not freak the other person out completely, and still feel in control?
Here is a quick script to help you out:
Hi. This is scary for me to say, because I'm getting pretty vulnerable with you right now, and I wanted you to know that I think you're an amazing person. I feel a connection with you that I don’t feel with most people. I wanted to tell you that I like you, and I would like to get to know you more. Is this something you have felt too?
To quickly break down the script, the reason I start with articulating your fear is because when you can voice a fear it starts to dissolve. That makes it slightly easier to show your appreciation for them, and tell them how you feel. I have you pose a question at the end so that they know what they're responding to and you can get an answer.
It takes courage, I know. And I also know that you can do it!
Get clarity so that you can make space for a person that is right for you. Or maybe the one you're thinking about revealing your feelings to right now is the right one.
All I ask is, don’t wait. If you’re afraid, tell me below in the comments what is coming up for you.
And then take initiative.
You are WORTH it.