What Is A Blended Orgasm & How Can You Have One?

First things first: You need to know your anatomy and how to find your clitoris and G-spot. Contrary to popular belief, your clitoris is not just a little button sitting on top of your urethra. In fact, this is just the tip of the iceberg, and what is known as the glans of the clitoris. When you become aroused, the clitoris swells, and the skin covering the glans (known as the clitoral hood) moves to expose this area further.

Picture your clitoris like a wishbone. The glans is the intersection of the two bones and is external. The majority of the clitoris is internal and extends down on each side and is estimated to be about 8 to 10 centimeters long and spans each side of the vaginal opening. It's a little more complex than how we were taught to think about the clitoris, but it's also a whole lot more exciting. When you become aroused, the entire clitoris swells1 because it is made of erectile tissue, much like a penis.

But when it comes to blended orgasms, locating your clitoris is just one part of the equation: You also need to find your G-spot. One of the easiest tricks to find your G-spot is to get aroused first, which is why locating your clitoris is so important. When you're aroused, blood rushes into the pelvis and can make this area a lot more pronounced.

Once you're aroused, insert your finger about 2 to 3 inches deep with your palm facing up. Your G-spot will feel subtly different from the other tissue in the vagina. Some women describe it as rough, or feeling a bit softer than the roof your mouth. The size of the G-spot can vary, and it may be as small as the tip of your finger, or it may be as large as a half-dollar. Take some time in exploring your terrain to locate your G-spot and be patient with yourself if you’ve never gone searching before.

One of the best ways you can help your partner in delivering a mind-blowing orgasm is to start with getting to know your body and what works for you. You can use your hand or a toy to simultaneously stimulate the clitoris and your G-spot to reach a blended orgasm. When using a toy, you can try one that provides clitoral stimulation or internal only, or use a toy that combines both.

Here's another great approach: Start by stimulating your clitoris and increasing arousal. Remember, this will increase the blood flow to your pelvis and make your G-spot easier to locate. Once you've brought yourself to a heightened state of arousal, try inserting a finger or two, or maybe a toy, to access your G-spot. How do you know when you’re on it? When the crazy, sexy sensations start moving through your body. Once you have your G-spot dialed in, begin incorporating clitoral stimulation simultaneously. It can take a bit to find your rhythm, but once you do, it is all hands on deck (pun intended). With a blended orgasm, women report experiencing a pulsing, breath-grabbing moment of complete ecstasy.

Like the best of sex, position is everything. If this your first attempt at a blended orgasm, start out lying on your back, allowing your partner to penetrate you while you or they simultaneously stroke your clitoris. Hands can get a bit tricky due to the space restrictions two bodies coming together create. I recommend women try placing a pillow or two under their pelvis and having their partner keep their torso more upright.

If you and your partner are struggling to find a rhythm that allows for both clitoral and G-spot stimulation, try them one at a time. Take turns allowing your partner to provide internal stimulation, and then have them pause and allow you to stimulate your clitoris. Repeat alternating between the two until you find a flow that works for both of you and allows you to stimulate both areas simultaneously.

Remember, not all of us gals get there our first time. The good news? This means you get to practice more—doctor’s orders. And by all means, get creative with exploring the different ways to bring yourself pleasure. Try mouth and hand, mouth and toy, different positions, like doggy style, and other creative ways to access these areas. Trust your intuition and go with what feels good.