Teaching Kids Forgiveness: 5 Ways To Demonstrate The Art Of Compassion

The inevitable roadblocks that life throws our way are perfect opportunities to show our children how to be present, how to face challenges, and how to grow through them. By modeling forgiveness and healing, we give our children a road map to help them develop grit, perseverance, and the ability to hold our heads high during strife. Difficulties are inevitable, but the way we handle them becomes our children's future goals and milestones. 

Going through these exercises in front of our kids helps them learn and grow and can also give you the impetus needed to do the right thing: 

Talk about forgiveness with your children. Share with them your journey. By letting go of the emotional baggage grievances and hurt can create, you illustrate the gift of healing and forgiveness. 

Our thoughts affect how we feel and ultimately behave. Most of our time is spent ruminating over the past or planning for the future. When we're in the moment—where life is happening now—we tune in to our thoughts and check in with ourselves. Understanding where we are allows us to thoughtfully respond and adapt. In addition, being present with the ones we love is also the best way to live life with the fewest regrets. Build time into the family schedule to be present and to connect and share, without devices and distractions. 

Most of us think about forgiveness as a monumental task that relates to major upsets. In reality, forgiveness is an everyday necessity that is crucial to cultivating healthy and meaningful connections. Whether you feel a pang of discomfort from a small daily hurt or have endured a major betrayal, name it, then speak to yourself about forgiving and letting it go. Demonstrate how the act of forgiveness can help you move through the hurt, find healing, and end up physically, mentally, and emotionally strengthened.  

Experts tell us that courage is like a muscle and we can practice it to make it stronger. How? We can use positive affirmations to help us reframe negative thinking and get us back on track: I am capable. I am worthy. I am enough. I choose love. 

Monkey see, monkey do. Our children look to us as models. How we cope with anger, talk about grievances, choose to forgive, and cope with daily disappointments is likely how our children will cope with them. Building our own social and emotional intelligence—the ability to identify, manage, and express our emotions in productive and healthy ways—provides our children with a path forward. It's important that we remain aware that our children are learning from us in every situation so that we continue to rise to each occasion and offer the best version of ourselves. 

This article was written with Scarlett Lewis, founder of the nonprofit Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement, which she created after her son's murder in the Sandy Hook tragedy in 2012. Through it, she advocates for social-emotional learning and character education. She's the author of Nurturing Healing Love: A Mother's Journey of Hope & Forgiveness, a memoir of her journey toward choosing love and forgiveness. The Movement's Choose Love for Schools Program is a no-cost, comprehensive SEL and character development program, empowering educators and students to choose love, handle adversity, and manage their emotions. Choose Love programming is extended into homes, communities, athletics, and the workplace and has been accessed in all 50 states and 110 countries.