A 4-Step Visualization To Help You Find Your Soulmate
Are you in a place in your life where you feel ready to dive in and find the person of your dreams? The following visualization technique can help you wake up your sexual and creative energy and tap into your unique, most idyllic version of romance.
Step One: Imagine your perfect lazy Sunday with your ideal partner.
To really get into this one, take a moment to sit down comfortably with your back supported and your head free.
Take a few slow, deep breaths, then close your eyes. Now, imagine waking up and rolling over and seeing your ideal partner lying next to you, fast asleep.
Take a moment and really picture what they look like: What color is their hair? What do they look like when they're sleeping? Can you hear their breathing? Let your imagination run wild.
Now, they wake up and open their eyes and they see you and make eye contact. Notice what color their eyes are, and notice what their smile looks like when they see you.
They pull the covers away and you see their body as they walk to the bathroom. How tall are they? What physical form do they take? Just see them as they walk through the room.
As you both wake up and start the day, imagine what your activities look like. Do you go out for brunch or do you cook at home? If you cook at home, who cooks and what do you make?
Smell the food in the air and see it on the table in front of you. Picture the table itself. Do you sit in front of the TV or in front of each other? Is your table in your kitchen or on your balcony?
As you're chatting over brunch, notice what the conversation is about and what attributes about your partner come out when they talk. Do they like to talk about politics or work? What kind of job do they have? Do they want kids?
You wrap up brunch and head out for your perfect Sunday. Just imagine what that is for you both: Hiking, kayaking, exploring the city, going to see a movie, going for a long drive?
Throughout the day, notice the moments that you connect and that you make eye contact. Notice what it feels like when you're riding in the car and you reach over and touch their hand. Is their skin soft or rough; do they hold your hand back?
Now, imagine that the day is winding down and you're back home getting ready for bed. I want you to have some fun here and picture your ideal sexual encounter with this person.
Are you in the bed or on the dining room table? Are you wearing anything? Are there rose petals or candles? Really take the time to see the images, smell the smells, taste the tastes, and feel the feelings.
Then imagine yourself falling asleep in their arms, feeling safe and connected and so incredibly grateful for the bond that you have with this person.
Taking a nice, deep inhale, savoring all of those feelings and images. As you exhale, bring yourself back to the present.
How did that feel? Was it dreamy and perfect, or did you have difficulty picturing many of the details? If it's the latter, that's OK. Because I'm about to give you a piece of homework to help you really hone in on the details of your ideal partner.
Step Two: Write down 100 attributes you would want your ideal partner to have.
The items on the list should be more than "nice" or "kind." Be sure to write out the full 100. Even if you get to 60 and think that you're done, keep going! If you feel stuck, think back to the visualization.
The reason it's important to be specific is because the universe can't deliver your desires if you don't ask for them. If you go to a restaurant and order "food," the waiter will be confused and won't know what to bring you. The same goes for your love life.
Step Three: Throw out your list.
The next part of this exercise is to take the list you just wrote and throw it out. Yep! Burn it, toss it into the closet, tear it up into little pieces.
You're doing this because the purpose of this assignment isn't to try to control every little detail; it's just to get to the core of what you want.
You place the order, and then you trust that the chef will bring you something that's in line with what you specified, even if you don't know exactly what the food will look like or what kind of plate it will come on or how many minutes it will take to arrive. Let go of your attachment to the outcome.
Step Four: Last but not least, make sure you're fulfilled.
There's one other key aspect of this process, and that's making sure that you are 100 percent fulfilled before you try to bring someone else into your life.
Many of us subscribe to the 80/20 rule. We believe that if we're 80 percent fulfilled, our partner can bring the other 20. But it doesn't work that way because happiness is an inside job.
So your homework is to find tools and techniques to get you to the place where you feel 100 percent fulfilled on your own. I want you to spend the next seven days leaving your house like the 100 percent fulfilled version of you. Do your hair, buy some new clothes that make you feel great, take baths, participate in your favorite hobbies, etc. Because when you feel your best, other people are automatically drawn to you.
I know this might seem like a lot, but I assure you that doing the groundwork now will help you in the long run as you navigate the beautiful, messy world of love. Take the time to get really specific about your desires, then throw the rest to the universe.
Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation, the world's first online meditation training program, and the author of Stress Less, Accomplish More. Ziva's mission is to make meditation attractive and accessible to modern people who are ready to up-level their performance and their life. Recently featured in the New York Times and regarded as one of the leading experts in Vedic meditation, Fletcher has been invited by companies like Google, Barclays Bank, Viacom, Chanel, Coca-Cola, and sweetgreen to help up-level company performance through meditation.
Fletcher has had the honor of speaking at Summit Series, Awesomeness Fest, and the Omega Center. She began her nine years of training in Rishikesh, India, and was inspired to teach after experiencing the profound physical and mental benefits meditation provided her during her 10-year career on Broadway, which included roles in Chicago, The Producers, and A Chorus Line.
With her high-performance background and intensive meditation training, Fletcher is perfectly suited to teach busy people how to incorporate meditation and visualization into their life, and she's an mbg course instructor! You can learn with her by joining her course, Guided Visualizations: How to Overcome Your Fears, Excel at Work, and Have Mind-Blowing Sex. She has also created a powerful guided visualization called zivaDETOX. It's a simple, downloadable audio that is designed to help you release thoughts and stress that are not serving you and to get you on the right path to leaving the stress behind.