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January 27, 2014

Self-doubt occurs when we focus on what’s missing in us and on everything that’s going wrong in our lives, regardless of all the blessings and gifts we already have.

When we’re in doubt, we get lost in a trance of shame and victimhood. We feel sorry for ourselves, and we imagine the world pitying us. Nothing could validate our significance when we allow self-doubt (ego) to be in control of our lives.

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Where does self-doubt come from?

It comes from a story we tell ourselves — the story that we’re not good enough because of some negative experiences we had in our childhood.

Each person has her own past and her own story. We could spend our entire lives giving our power to the past, to the people and experiences that caused us pain.

But the truth is that we have a choice to either find goodness in the story or to let the story destroy us. Moving forward in life without questioning the story we created from the experience blinds us from seeing the reality of the situation and stepping into our own power. The consequences are anger, distance, separation, and uncertainty. We lose our power, and we become confused about our identity and self-worth.

If you’re going through a cycle of self-doubt, here are 5 questions that will challenge you to get your power back:

1. What’s the story you’re telling yourself about a specific experience? What’s the underlying belief you have in this story?

2. Is this belief or thought 100% true? Is it something that you’re telling yourself because you’re familiar with what to expect from these thoughts? If your answer to this is yes, then what’s the proof that your belief is true?

3. How has this story served you in the past? What needs were met when you told yourself this story?

4. Do you want to keep this thought or story in your life? If not, are you ready to let it go? Your answer must be either yes or no. If you come up with excuses, then you’re setting yourself up to experience yet another cycle of self-doubt.

5. What do you want instead of self-doubt? Why is it important for you to have it? What value would it bring into your life?

Working through self-doubt is pretty simple, even though it seems very challenging when we’re stuck. Focusing on everything that’s wrong will create self-doubt. Focusing on everything that’s right will create confidence. It’s up to you to choose which route to take.

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Cynthia Belmer
Cynthia Belmer
Author, Self-love Coach

Cynthia Belmer has been on the self-love journey for over 8 years. Her job is to help women end their stress by realizing that they're already what they're looking for in life: love and strength.

In 2006 Cynthia began her quest to finding answers to "who am I" which led her to questioning her stressful beliefs about her life experiences in relationships (self, romantic and personal ones) and in spirituality.

Since then, Cynthia has coached countless women from all over the world and led workshops that helped individuals find gifts in their negative experiences and turn their focus towards the loving voice that has always been ready to give them happiness in life.

Although Cynthia has been coaching for many years, she still considers herself a student of self-realization. She's a self-love coach, author of Life Without Approval and an inspirational speaker.

Contact her directly on her website: