There are countless articles, books, workshops and self-help gurus all dishing out advice on how to get over a breakup and make yourself feel better about getting over "the one" who was never "right."
After all, the disastrous divorce rates showcase an epidemic of runners, people who bolt when the going gets tough. As our grandparents would put it: we are a culture of people who give up when things get a little bumpy. But anyone who has experienced a painful breakup or divorce understands there is much more to the picture. Do we really run when things get hard, or could it be we actually -- for the first time in history -- are choosing to love "me" before we love "we?" The truth is, we are entering into an era of self-actualization.
A gigantic shift has occurred on the planet, and people are now recognizing the power of being authentic. And sacrifice is not necessarily part of a long-lasting relationship. Stepping into your true purpose is the best gift you can give to the world. When you are true to you, your relationships will flourish. Abundant love will come to you and you can't help but to feel more empowered.
When you enter into a relationship with fear and insecurity, you are doing both of you a disservice. You can be on either side of the road, fear or faith, but not both. If you are stuck in fear, you must ask yourself why your shadows are overpowering you. I recently left a long-term relationship for this reason. I realized I still had a lot of work to do on myself before I could be a powerful partner. This took guts, but to say to someone, "I love you, but I love myself more" and I need to go be with me, is a ballsy move. But when you put yourself first, you will in turn attract the relationship of your dreams.
Here’s how to know if you are in the wrong or right relationship.
When to Say “I Don't”
1. You lash out
2. You hide your true self (or pieces of you from them)
3. You lose yourself
4. You feel guilty
5. You are dishonest with yourself and others
6. You are afraid of losing each other
7. The sex and smooch sessions are bad
8. You don't look forward to being together or you don't make time to spend together
9. You are opinionated, judgmental or feel superior
10. You hide the relationship from family and friends
When to Say “I Do”
1. You feel safe
2. You are 100% yourself
3. You are honest about everything including your past and future goals
4. You feel acknowledged, respected and appreciated.
5. You are proud of each other
6. You see the sparkle in each other’s eyes
7. When you argue, you don't think about breaking up
8. You love who you are in the relationship
9. You grow
10. You have unconditional love beaming from your heart